Never Enough
I feel like my life is normal, and not very hard compared to others. I am fortunate, and I have a pretty good relationship with my family. But the problem is that’s I feel like I am a disappointment to my parents sometimes, and that I truly try my best, but they still expect more from me. When I get annoyed or frustrated, they tell me I am rude and that my behavior is unacceptable, and that just further gives me stress and anxiety. Sometimes I feel like anything I do doesn’t really matter to them, especially compared to my siblings. I wish I could just tell them everything and how it feels, but I know that what I say will only make them mad and tell me to stop comparing myself to my siblings and complaining about my life. They have no idea that I cry behind closed doors and am nervous to even try and speak to them about my true feelings.
Hey @sociableGrapes9795
It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of pressure and expectations from your family, even though you're trying your best. It's important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed by these emotions. It's tough when you feel like your efforts aren't recognized and you're struggling to communicate your true feelings.
If you're finding it difficult to talk to your parents directly, you might consider reaching out to a trusted friend, family member, or even a mental health professional who can provide you with support and guidance. Sometimes, having someone to confide in can help you navigate your emotions and find ways to cope with the stress and anxiety you're experiencing.
Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength, and you deserve to have your feelings heard and understood. You're not alone in this, and there are people who want to support you.
@sociableGrapes9795
I'm really sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It can be incredibly difficult when you feel like you're disappointing your parents, especially when you're trying your best. It's also tough when your frustrations are met with criticism, which only adds to your stress and anxiety.
I think finding a way to communicate your emotions in a calm and respectful manner might help them understand how you're feeling. Explain that you're not trying to compare yourself to your siblings or complain about your life, but rather you want to express how certain situations make you feel. Let them know that you're doing your best and that their expectations sometimes feel overwhelming.
It's possible that they may not fully understand or agree with everything you say, but expressing your emotions can be a step towards finding a resolution or at least fostering better understanding between you and your parents.
Hi @sociableGrapes9795
I'm sorry you're struggling right now. I'm hoping I can give you a little perspective as a parent that might help a tiny bit.
As a parent, we teach our kids tons of stuff. We have expectations that we set when they're born. "She's going to go to X college." "He's going to be famous." We don't know, of course, but that's what we want. That's what we hope for. We want our kids to have a better life than we did. We want them to be more amazing than we are. Smarter, more talented, wealthier, struggle less, etc.
Being the parent of a teenager can be scary. Because you're starting to become an adult. And you're thinking your own thoughts, and forming your own opinions, and sometimes what you do or say is completely contrary to what we have taught you all these years. And as a parent, it's frustrating - and scary.
It's frustrating because we think "Why are you acting this way?" "Why aren't you doing what we told you?" "Why are you disrespecting us this way?"
And it's scary because we know that you're starting to grow up, and are slowly becoming and adult, and your own person, and becoming independent. And that means what we say doesn't mean much any more. And that means we can't protect you as much. And we're losing "you the child" and it's a little sad. (Even though at the same time we're gaining "you the adult.")
It is HARD for teens and parents to talk to each other. Because each of you are scared for different reasons. Each of you seem to want different things. But in reality, you both want the same thing. You want to be happy. Your parents want you to be happy. It's just that they have one way of thinking on how you should accomplish that and you have a different way. Neither way is bad or wrong - just different.
But talking about it - even in little steps - will allow you both to understand each other a little more, and understand why you each react the way you do.
