My mind is trying to convince me that there’s something physically wrong with my body and that I will permanently suffer.
I got a health scare and what triggered this is I read symptoms and people talking about it online. I haven’t been able to fully think rationally as my body is always on alert that just pops up and gets worse at different times of the day no matter how calm I think I am. I wake up with panic attacks that physically hurt me. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. I went to the doctor and he said that it’s anxiety but anxiety has never felt this terrifying to me. It’s interfering with daily life I have a constant light pressure head tension. I’m scared this will never go away and I will have to deal with this no matter what I do.
@drbillcat
Unfortunately one we start to look up health issues on "doctor google" we tend to find a lot of information that isn't correct, or is vague, or doesn't even apply to what we're feeling. But, once we start reading, we start feeling all the symptoms and then we easily spiral down into having every disease on the planet and it becomes one massive panic attack.
You did the right thing by going to your doctor. If you feel like there's a health issue, that's what a doctor is for. Not the internet.
As for the panic attacks - they're awful. I know. Especially in the morning. Everyone will tell you that they can't hurt you, even though they make you feel like you're dying. One of the things I like to do when I'm having a complete breakdown is to kind of put that anxiety attack in a chair.
What I mean is, if I'm spiraling and having an attack, I will sit down and mentally sit down my anxiety in another chair. So, it's here with me, but not on me. And then I talk to it. Why are you doing this now? What seems to be the problem? I don't like that you're here, and we're going to have to have a time out. So, you can sit there and be miserable, but I don't want you to get up from that chair and I don't want you following me around the house. I need a break.
It's kind of like treating the attack as a child who is having a tantrum. Will the child have other tantrums? Sure. But right now you're in charge and you are have a time out where anxiety sits in the corner and you take some time to breathe, relax, and know that you are okay.
Is it normal for me to go through the process you’re talking about and it just coming back later the same day in full force? I’m worried I’ll lose the relationships I have with people over this.
@drbillcat
Dealing with anxiety is a daily thing. We would ALL like it to go away permanently. But it doesn't. So, you have to learn how to address it, deal with it, and make it smaller.
As far as relationships - if people in your life don't have anxiety or don't understand it, they need to be aware of what you're going through. I mean, I don't mean everyone. I'm talking about the close, personal relationships you have. Spouses, partners, best friends.
My husband does not suffer from anxiety. When I started having issues (I always have had issues since a teenager, but in the past few years I've had a lot of life events that caused my anxiety to pop like mad), he did not understand at all. Most people don't. Most people will respond with "just relax." "There's nothing wrong." "You're fine." "Just stop thinking about it." That kind of stuff.
But it's not that simple. Anxiety is an illness, and we each have to learn what steps we need to take to manage that illness. If someone had a stomach ache, you wouldn't just tell them to "stop it." That's how I like to talk to others about anxiety. It's the same thing. You can't just make a pain in your body stop, and anxiety is no different. You have to find ways to make it smaller - make it less than it is until it subsides.
It is a journey of self-discovery. Yeah, that sounds terrible to say it that way - like it's an adventure of some kind - but, truly, that's what it is. Anxiety makes you really look hard at yourself and what's going on in your life. What triggers it? What alleviates it? What tools do you have in your toolbox to make it better? What will you do if you have an attack in public? Who can you call that is supportive when you're feeling bad?
Sometimes it's just nice to talk to someone else who will listen so that we don't feel so alone in our anxiety.
