Journal 29th jun 2023

I needed somewhere to vent and where I won't feel bad for being an adult and not managing my anxiety

I just fought with my sister, she's an adult too, we just argued, we didn't yelled nor got physical. But gosh, we have had this same disccussion multiple times and she just keeps doing the same. The reason was she was playing with one of our cats and then cat was breathing too fast. I told my sister to let her (the cat) rest but she said she could rest if she was tired. I replied she used to do the same with our dog, and that actually was bad bc our dog was sick of the heart. I frequently told my family to not make the dog exercise so much but they only stopped doing it when time after and by coincide, of sorts, we find out she was sick of her heart.

Right now I can think I could've told her to just give the cat a few seconds but in our fight, I don't longer remember everything well, just what I wrote before, then I think she said the cat was ok, me saying intense exercise isn't good nor healthy and her saying the cat is fat.

And now I'm thinking cat wouldn't have gotten fat if you would have played with her before, this wasn't an overnight situation... sigh

Anyways I'm a bit glad I was able to get into a yelling argument bc she tends to explode easily and I'm still upset over our dog's and cat's death, but mainly our dog since dog lived longer with us, for 5 years and the cat only lived for a couple of months with us. Moreover I was closer with our dog. Well I guess I should talk to my sister on saturday since tomorrow is her birthday and she would definitely yelled at me if I bring it up

Ugh, I have work to do and I just feel like crying. I should cry but I know I'll end up all drained and work is almost urgent. so I should try to do whatever I can and then rest.

To whoever reads this I hope you can rest at least a bit today