I can't hold on much longer.

I went to see my girlfriend again. We had been apart for a few months. Both of us were suffering greatly from the uncertainty of work, studies and family expectations.

I confessed to her that in order to be near her, I had spent money and deceived HR to find an internship in her city, but she thought it was irrational. She thought I should listen to my family and gain experience in my hometown first. Meanwhile, she is also fighting for a doctoral opportunity near my city, but I'm not sure if she can't get it, she will choose to stay in her own city or choose another opportunity near my city.

Her parents are against our relationship. This puts a lot of pressure on her, as her parents are not personally prejudiced against me, but see the geographical problem as an insurmountable obstacle, especially as we are both only children. My city is far less developed than hers, and we are 2,000 kilometres apart. Her mother has bluntly told her to break up with me. My girlfriend says she doesn't want to listen to them yet.

No one understands me except my girlfriend. But I don't want to transmit some strong emotions to her. My parents also certainly want me to stay in my city, which puts even more pressure on me.

I'm with her because I want to protect her, I want to be her protector, I want her to be happy with me, and yet I keep putting her through so much stress and pain, and I feel so useless.