How others contribute to my anxiety
A lot of my anxiety has to do with controlling my environment. I mean, I guess we all want that. We all want things to be a certain, comfortable way and that means everything has to be the way we want in order to feel safe, protected, calm.
But, you know what really spikes my anxiety? When someone tells me "hey, we need to talk" or "I've got something important to tell you." Now, that's bad enough, but THEN they'll say... "can we talk tomorrow" or "I'll call you next week." Why can't you tell me NOW? Because from the moment you say "I have something to tell you" until the time you actually tell me is AGONY.
It's my mind racing with a million thoughts. It's sleepless nights. It's me thinking about every worst case scenario (because we never think about the good things). It's hours and hours of "what ifs" until you finally let me know, and it turns out to be nothing terrible or critical or most often has nothing even to do with me.
It's exhausting!
@thoughtfulmomma
Have you ever spoke up and asked for a preview of conversation or ask them to clarify now?
I used to do similar things.... usually at work where after hours or days find out the item was for example
A. something i already knew so i stressed for nothing
B. a good thing like a new project or once a raise.
I spoke up and told boss it was hard to anticipate perhaps a negative item and by the time they told me even if a good thing I had stressed myself out. I now TELL myself there is nothing i can do with partial information. so I want a clearer mind to actually listen and deal with whatever information instead of trying to go through all my made up what if scenarios...
It takes practice and patience but sure made it easier to handle.
