Ever felt like you never knew how to be yourself?

I can relate to this cos I have different friend groups where I can just be myself, or like you say put on a show but you're still yourself just as an over exaggerated version I get it I have that friend group too haha. You do know how to be yourself, you're just trying to work it in a social situation which does not matter

@ram7474 Yeah, feel this pretty hard.

I had an issue growing up where I was into cringe interests (I guess like every teen) but my mother was vocal about not approving of things I enjoyed. It made me feel bad about liking what I did, but I still liked it, so I just either didn't talk about it or hid it unless I was with friends with similar interests.

Maybe that's part of why I'm so selective in what people see of me, but it also means I've had a long streak of just being whatever I had to be to rock the least amount of boats all the way through to my adulthood. I hate disapproval and I hate that in itself, but I just can't help it. And the easiest way for no one to disapprove is for there to be nothing to you to disapprove of, or at least nothing that you'll actually take personally. For example, I get teased about a bunch of stuff, but it's minor stuff that I teased myself about first in order to target other people to that and not to stuff that will actually hurt my feelings. Like I can't reveal any actual human flaws because it becomes too confusing the second people cut through the shell.

But yeah, I take a look at my life and I don't know what I want. I don't want anything. Because I never have wanted anything other than to make it through my days with the least amount of hassle possible, and the easiest way to do that was to make myself whatever would fit that mould. I work but for what? I don't care too much about getting a house alone, I can't and don't really want to have a relationship, I won't ever have a family or kids, and I could give or take my own family... But I just act as whatever I'm supposed to be the most in each circle I operate in - friends, family, professional etc.

Everyone seems to have a reason to do what they do, but I dunno. It gets hard to find one when you feel like you've been weaving into whatever space you had to for a while.

That's a problem I'm looking for a solution to, at the moment. Hopefully you'll find something too.

@ram7474

Hi ram 💕 I hear you. I often feel like I don’t know how to be myself. On this journey of finding out who I am now. I often feel I’m pretending and masking my true self to people please. But I’m working on it. Please Know your not alone. We’re here to support you 💕😊

@ram7474

As someone who has never really felt like they knew who they were, this really resonated with me. You're not alone in feeling that way.

There are a couple of questions that I feel are leading me to figure it out: What makes you happy to do when you're alone? How does that feeling compare to how you feel around your friends?

Thank you for sharing, I'm sure that it was comforting for a lot of people to read and know that they aren't alone ❤️ Good luck figuring everything out, you're doing amazing.

@ram7474

Hey Ram!

I'm sorry about your struggles!

Do not worry if you feel overly affected by others as I think all our personalities were forged through pieces of other people's personalities. We see someone do something, say something, eat something, etc, and we try it for ourselves. That is how we are introduced to things from childhood.

It is after experiencing things for ourselves (thanks to others) that we determine what we like to eat say how we like to act etc.. Alone time helps us determine our most honest interests apart from others' we might have been affected by. Good luck on your journey to self-discovery!

if you need a listening ear please feel free to message me and I will answer as soon as I see our message :)

@ram7474 i understand how you feel and if it helps there are a lot of us who feel the same way but one thing i learned was even when we put on a show or try to fit in we are still use from the inside our morals and judgements and the things we believe in our what makes us who we are and you are still you and we re here for you

@ram7474

@ram7474It sounds like you're experiencing a sense of disconnection from yourself and your own desires, which can be really challenging and frustrating. It's not uncommon to struggle with feeling like you're always adapting to fit in or please others, especially if you've been doing it for a long time.