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Dealing with feeling unloved

User Profile: marydaisy
marydaisy January 2nd

When I don't meet my expectations at school, work or in the social circles, I feel like people hate me, I'm the most unloveable creature. Like the girl in the film "The Worst Person in the World". But I know that it's a distorted perception. The thing is that, at those times, it's not the other people, I don't love myself. It's so hurtful living with such a side in you who can only love you when you succeed. It's so hurtful to judge everyone and evrything based on success and arbitary hiararchies. It so hurtful to compete with people or idealized ideas of them. It's hopeful to get rid of all of them sometimes and give and receive pure love with people, but it does not last long. What I learnt about living is sadly based on getting successful or I won't be loved. And I know it's part of everybody's life in our modern societies. So, how do you cope with that people of the 7cups?

6
January 2nd

@marydaisy You see that being loved for success is arbitrary. Learn to love yourself no matter what. Other people will do what they do. Don’t project this on them and assume they don’t love you unless AND don’t internalize that same distortion. It’s all up to you in how you deal with this internal struggle. It’s not going to be a one and done thing - you’ll likely have to revisit this struggle over and over again. 

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User Profile: marydaisy
marydaisy OP January 2nd

Thank you 🌻 yes, it's a journey and I'm doing my besy :)

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User Profile: toughTiger6481
toughTiger6481 January 2nd

@marydaisy

You see through it ,,,,yet believe that is how it is so........ do it anyway.  i did that too.   i was miserable ....then i became the most upfront and some say blunt person in the world..... and simply do not care for those who feel that success is the only measurement we have it simply is not. 

we all make mistakes and have failures but that does not define us.  the worst people i deal with hate themselves for all the perceived failures they imagine they have.... 

 

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User Profile: marydaisy
marydaisy OP January 2nd

Thank you 🌻 in a world that is so vague it's weird we sometimes want to define ourselves so much, even badly

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User Profile: Tinywhisper11
Tinywhisper11 January 2nd

@marydaisy I'm kinda the opposite in thinking, I believe the happiest people in this world are everyday people. Wanting success is fine, until it becomes a competition with your mind. You are lovable, and you deserve love and kindness. Just remember love and kindness starts with you ❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ goodluck sweetie

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User Profile: marydaisy
marydaisy OP January 2nd

Thank you, so true!! You warmed my heart 🌻💜

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