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marydaisy
2 5,338 M Moving Along
PathStep 19 Compassion hearts392 Forum posts29 Forum upvotes31 Current upvotes31 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceApril 3, 2020
Recent forum posts
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Love Life? What is that?
Self-Esteem / by marydaisy
Last post
 November 29th
...See more Here is the thing. I was finally feeling good about myself. This week was going smoothly. I was focused on my goals and doing okay with my job. I wasn't feeling the lack I usually feel, the lack of a romantic partner. I am ashamed of that, but it is what it is. Then a friend opened up a conversation about somebody I liked a few months back. He is a mutual friend. She suggested I should try harder on that, maybe message him or sth, he most likely didn't get I was interested in him. That I let it go too easily. That little idea, that little possibility of love and the possible rejection, these were enough to shift my focus. For a few months, I banned those ideas, stopped daydreaming about love, stop liking people. Now my heart aches and I remember all my past heart aches. And those moments of fleating joy in a constant state of pain. I am too tense to go on a date with somebody. I should just forget about this thing and remember what is important again.
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Coming-of-age
Anxiety Support / by marydaisy
Last post
 February 19th
...See more I am on the verge of many many many decisions in different ends, causing anxiety in different areas of my life. That's the life of a senior university student. From where do I live to where to work and sometimes to the extend of questioning the field I'm in currently or my friendships. Choosing is loosing what the other options offer, I know, it's the most basic thing. But sometimes feel so lost that I don't know what's important for me anymore, what I am doing really. My mind is foggy, and for two days all I do is just to sit and think and doing nothing. I can see the parting of the ways, but just stopped walking and sat cross-legged on the ground.  These questionings make me feel as if everything is about me. I am so immersed in my own struggles, sometimes finding myself getting mad at my loved ones who always try their best to support me but obviously they have their own life they prioritize. And I'm really happy for them setting their boundaries against my unrealistic demand of support. The real reason I get mad is because feeling alone while making a decision, although no one can't choose for me. I don't know what I am deciding on behalf of whom, or whom I want to satisfy. AND WHAT'S GOING ON? Am I failing at everything in the regard of everyone's eyes? One day hope I see there is no one truth or no audience in front of me to entertain. No rival on the stage other than myself. My god, that's so cliché, am I in an indie coming-of-age movie? 
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Dealing with feeling unloved
Anxiety Support / by marydaisy
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more When I don't meet my expectations at school, work or in the social circles, I feel like people hate me, I'm the most unloveable creature. Like the girl in the film "The Worst Person in the World". But I know that it's a distorted perception. The thing is that, at those times, it's not the other people, I don't love myself. It's so hurtful living with such a side in you who can only love you when you succeed. It's so hurtful to judge everyone and evrything based on success and arbitary hiararchies. It so hurtful to compete with people or idealized ideas of them. It's hopeful to get rid of all of them sometimes and give and receive pure love with people, but it does not last long. What I learnt about living is sadly based on getting successful or I won't be loved. And I know it's part of everybody's life in our modern societies. So, how do you cope with that people of the 7cups?
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Hello and Good Night
Anxiety Support / by marydaisy
Last post
 January 2nd
...See more Hello, new in the community! On this part of the earth, it's night now. I've been anxious all day, as it's usually the case these days. And before sleeping I really wanted say "good night" to somebody. So good night everyone and hello :)
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