Starting Over at 34
I recently discovered husband cheating on me and that he plans to divorce me soon. I have not worked a job in 3 years (was a difficult unstable period with him trying to adjust in 2 foreign countries) and am fully dependant on him financially. I have a language/humanities degree but now want to explore another career in design. I am afraid I will be no good and am afraid if it's too late for me to start something new. I have been trying out UX design by self studying but I feel an imposter syndrome and I can't seem to finish a portfolio to start applying for jobs. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. I am also considering learning to code, but my husband told me I have no logic and I shouldn't waste my time on it lol
I feel my self esteem and confidence has really taken a hit in this marriage
@ZombieLife89
Is is never to late to try something new.... you will need to focus on a career if you are now on your own and it is better to be content and not hate your job.
I think trying it even if you feel like an impostor is better then asking yourself for years what IF i had tried. the things you will regret in life are things you did not even give a chance.
@ZombieLife89
I'm right here with you, Zombie. I'm hearing just one of the ways you weren't allowed to flourish during this relationship - like, being intentionally discouraged from learning something new. In a relationship where you were ever condescended, discouraged or underestimated.. it often leads to the deterioration of our Spirit over time. Fortunately, our Spirit can be far more resilient than we realize.
Someone cheating in a relationship is not ever personal to you. It's usually more indicative of their own insecurities and inner-struggles, which can often lend to projecting these onto others - like you experienced.
While transitional periods are uncomfortable, and even excruciating at times, it sounds like you have an opportunity to take control over your narrative in ways you weren't able to before... to make creative choices and figure out... who you are and what you're made of without any external negative influences.
Self-esteem takes time to rebuild. The relationship we have with ourselves often needs mending after relationships where love wasn't always, or ever, present. Give yourself grace. Give yourself patience during this time and know you're capable of wonderful things. To make progress, if all we can be is 1% better each day. Even small greatness can amount to so much more as time passes. We can't overlook the value of the small positive changes we make as we move forward.
Feel welcome to check back in with us and keep us updated! Best wishes on your journey.
~ One kind recommendation: Come visit Sharing Circle (24/7 Group Support Chat) if you'd like to receive support in live time from members and listeners alike!
♡Zaati
