Coming-of-age

I am on the verge of many many many decisions in different ends, causing anxiety in different areas of my life. That's the life of a senior university student. From where do I live to where to work and sometimes to the extend of questioning the field I'm in currently or my friendships. Choosing is loosing what the other options offer, I know, it's the most basic thing. But sometimes feel so lost that I don't know what's important for me anymore, what I am doing really. My mind is foggy, and for two days all I do is just to sit and think and doing nothing. I can see the parting of the ways, but just stopped walking and sat cross-legged on the ground. 

These questionings make me feel as if everything is about me. I am so immersed in my own struggles, sometimes finding myself getting mad at my loved ones who always try their best to support me but obviously they have their own life they prioritize. And I'm really happy for them setting their boundaries against my unrealistic demand of support. The real reason I get mad is because feeling alone while making a decision, although no one can't choose for me. I don't know what I am deciding on behalf of whom, or whom I want to satisfy. AND WHAT'S GOING ON? Am I failing at everything in the regard of everyone's eyes? One day hope I see there is no one truth or no audience in front of me to entertain. No rival on the stage other than myself. My god, that's so cliché, am I in an indie coming-of-age movie?