Coming-of-age
I am on the verge of many many many decisions in different ends, causing anxiety in different areas of my life. That's the life of a senior university student. From where do I live to where to work and sometimes to the extend of questioning the field I'm in currently or my friendships. Choosing is loosing what the other options offer, I know, it's the most basic thing. But sometimes feel so lost that I don't know what's important for me anymore, what I am doing really. My mind is foggy, and for two days all I do is just to sit and think and doing nothing. I can see the parting of the ways, but just stopped walking and sat cross-legged on the ground.
These questionings make me feel as if everything is about me. I am so immersed in my own struggles, sometimes finding myself getting mad at my loved ones who always try their best to support me but obviously they have their own life they prioritize. And I'm really happy for them setting their boundaries against my unrealistic demand of support. The real reason I get mad is because feeling alone while making a decision, although no one can't choose for me. I don't know what I am deciding on behalf of whom, or whom I want to satisfy. AND WHAT'S GOING ON? Am I failing at everything in the regard of everyone's eyes? One day hope I see there is no one truth or no audience in front of me to entertain. No rival on the stage other than myself. My god, that's so cliché, am I in an indie coming-of-age movie?
@marydaisy I can feel that you are very confused, although it is already a senior but still can not find their own reverse, very confused and annoyed no one can replace you, so struggling as not to think so much in accordance with the original road to try my best to go on, slowly will find that you like or don't like this to make a choice.
Sounds like you have classic « analysis is paralysis ».
As live progresses you realise how little you can control outcomes. You can tick all the boxes and you don’t get the results you want.
The big lesson is being able to live with uncertainty.
Literally letting go and see where it takes you.
You are in the forest , there are 2 paths, one is well trodden, the other is not. Do you dare take the path less travelled? If you do you may end up somewhere unknown, magical…
Life is an unknown adventure and a lot of the time out of our control.
I have friends who seem to have amazing lives and suddenly they are fighting cancer….
A lot of the times you just need to make a decision, there are so many you can make, you just need to make it and see where it takes you.
You will make wrong decisions.
it’s not that that matters but how you pick yourself up when things don’t go as you planned.
Focus on how to become more resiliant .