Anxiety triggered by staying home?
So, I'm an introvert and I get anxious when I go out, but I get even more anxious if I stay in my house all day- anyone else?
Like I can never seem to fully give myself over to my hobbies here because there is too much history here, too many reminders of who I really am- I just can't relax or concentrate and I just spiral in my thoughts and feelings.
My friends love staying at home so they never understand how I can't just chill and enjoy myself- like when I'm with them, we need to be driving around or doing an activity or I will spiral.
I like being out in public because I can use my social anxiety to fuel the idea that other people have a certain idea about me and so I have to fulfill it- I must be erudite and dedicated with all my work out so I BECOME that person while under that imagined pressure.
Without that pressure, without being witnessed and having to perform, I crumble back into myself and I hate it.
Okay, rant over. I'll brush my teeth and see if I can escape the house sooner rather than later today.
@determinedSea4370 I say all this stuff about escaping the house, but then I drive from one place to another because I get so overwhelmed by sensory issues and social anxiety that it forces me to leave and look for a 'safer place' lol. I feel ridiculous. Wish me luck, I've already run away from the library and now I'm at a cafe.
@determinedSea4370
Hey Sea! It sounds like you're really caught in a tough spot, trying to balance the anxiety you feel when you're at home with the pressure that comes from being out in public. I can feel how overwhelming it must be to feel trapped in your own thoughts when you're at home, and I understand how being out with your friends can allow you to avoid this spiral.
It must be exhausting to feel this shift of having pressure vs. not having this pressure when not going out. I can hear how much you're navigating all of this at once, and I'm proud of you for taking the time to share your thoughts with the rest of us!