Please please please be kind to yourself. Anxiety and suicidal ideation are not joke, and take a lot out of a person. Beating yourself up about it is really mean to yourself. A lot of us were just given a different card in life. It’s not anyone’s fault, but we have to keep pushing forward and find different ways to take care of ourselves than the average person.
As far school work goes, what you get done is what you get done. There are lots of ways to organize this and reduce stress, but at the end of the day you only have so much productivity and energy.
Strategies I have used in the past to organize this that might help you include: planners, digital/physical calendars, sticky notes. At one point when I was taking 5 AP classes, band, and being in the orchestra pit with 3 hour daily rehearsals, I literally had to plan out every single hour of my free time just to stay afloat. Maybe keeping copies of this would help?
You can also talk to your guidance counselor or teachers to try and get an extension on things since you’re dealing with A LOT. There are always ways to accommodate in the education system! Hang in there- you’re doing great so far and I know it doesn’t feel like it, but this too shall pass :)