To much things going on ...

First of all as you will see , English isn't my first language so this thing is gonna be a bit difficult for me and you to understand me . I dont know how it comes but im addicted to things like smoking, alcohol, drugs. I can't rember the first day i start smoking, when i start the alcohol or drugs . I dont know whats going on with me in the first place to be honest , this is the first time i open my self to someone . Never seen a doctor for my mental health or speak to someone else , it is hard for me i dont know how to explain my self , for the thing i feel or when i want to say something. I cant conertret my self to nothing , looks hard to concertate for me on anything i do , i feel like im good on something but when i can't get that thing , my moral just goes down and that's it for me, i dont try to make again i just leave it doesn't matter how important the thing is or what ever . I have a lot to say but on the same time , have nothing to say dont know how to explain the things inside me . This is the first time like i said to open somewhere or someone .

thanks everyone!!!