Newbie ADHD with a long and hard road ahead.
Hiya!
So, I’m a newbie in this field. I’m actually still getting tested for it as we speak, although the psychiatrist already spoke between the lines he’s quite sure that this is accurate.
I’m a 33 year old full time working mom of a 1,5 year old boy. Looking back on my life there’s been numerous times I could’ve been diagnosed for it, but as being a COPMI child i think they overlooked the situation in a way they ‘understood’ the behavior do to bad parenting.
Of course, like many, the hole of depression I fell into began early 20’s where I got therapy for, and an additional CBT in group session. I thought the ‘problems’ I was still facing after that were just sole left overs from depression thinking you can’t get back to 100% yourself.
And then I met my partner and eventually we got our son. Now that’s where the real problems began. We’ve had complications in pregnancy, during birth (ended in emergency-c section fully sedated) a cry baby and 2 serious hospital visits within the first 6 months. The bf couldn’t handle the crying and all that came, so I carried 90% of care.
A newbie mom, not having a chance to even come to terms with it, traumatized from the start and ADHD amplifying the issue…. I seriously do not ever wish anyone that path from disaster.
Over time with therapy we figured out the possibility of ADHD and with my son on the line (I was fighting CPS with every last bit of strength I had to keep my son) I turned a new corner, looked deep into the mirror acknowledging my failures and mistakes and started educating myself on any and every form of the disorder and psychology in it’s total form (still and will keep on learning) to slowly get out of the depression mainly on myself (I kept/keep forgetting my appointments with my therapist lmao) and am still trying to cope with all the exploded traits.
I have to say that it’s a very hard and long road.. I’m now mainly focusing on how to manage the ADHD in order to start an additional EMDR therapy for the traumas endured since our sons birth, but at the same time the bf has separation anxiety with all the additional problems that’s pushing relationship problems and additional time for to educate myself on to understand him and be a supportive partner in hopes we can work through it, trying to understand my son and his behavior while I don’t even know who I am at this point.
Sometimes.. idn. I’ll get there, luckily we finally know why the walls are closing in on me on a daily basis. But damn folks..
I’m a newbie ADHD with a long and hard road ahead.
@NinaZondag
Hi NinaZondag, thank you for taking the time to share some pieces of your story with us. I can feel the sense of overwhelm you are experiencing when I was reading your post. I am so sorry you have had to deal with so much from all angles in the last couple years. Life can be so challenging at times, and having ADHD does add an extra layer of complexity, you are so right about that.
I find when I get overwhelmed in life I break things down into smaller manageable chunks. I also remind myself often that it all cant be solved in a day, this takes the pressure off a bit. Make a list of priorities and start with what needs the most immediate attention right now, break that priority down into smaller tasks and go from there.
Take it one day at a time and once you have more balance in one area you can start on another. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself during the whole process as that helps to keep your motivations high. I hope this gives you some ideas to work with. Hang in there mama, you got this! 😊
Remember, or at least ey to remember that scary is gonna feel way to cmn and often
...it must be cut off at the pass within certain parameters to move forward and beyond in a worthy relationship with self.....and learning to be more loving, compassionate, etc, etc, through the power of empathy!!