I just feel helpless. Any words or advice appreciated so much.
Academic deadline, and can’t bring myself to focus, no matter how hard I try. Parent has just shouted at me telling me I’m pathetic, doomed in life and to just go and not come back, that I’m an embarrassment. I don’t believe this, I won’t give up, ever. Even still, I just don’t know what to do, I have two days to finish this assignment, I am in a mess and just hiding right now.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me!! It’s really important to me to succeed, I really do feel as though I try hard…
Sometimes I feel like I have some sort of condition where at random points in the day I just Float Off The Ground (representing the way my mind seems to “float off” and I can’t Think Straight) and I can’t come back down. I’m not in control of it, but people around me go “ugh, just stop Floating Off The Ground, you idiot.” and I wish they’d understand that I would love to be in control of myself even more than they would like me to do what I said I would.
Please help… I don’t know how to proceed with my work while I have this massive stress spike from Parental Confrontation. Anything would be appreciated x
@SwanOfAges Imagine you’re opening a garden gate. Just as you’re doing this a big wind kicks up and slams the gate into you. You’re going to get startled and stressed by this initially. But since the cause is a parent you take a moment, shake it off and continue with your day. The gate and the wind have no criticism of you and you don’t engage in mental defense or anger at the gate except maybe for the split second curse at the gate. With your parent there is a whole dialogue in your head about why they said what they said and self doubt it brings up, etc. it’s a lot more complicated interaction. If you can reframe the emotional experience so it’s more like the gate, the stress can dissipate more easily - more easily just no where near as quickly as you forgive the gate. An event happened and as a result this is how you’re feeling. Try to keep focus on the feeling being present but don’t try to argue with the feeling. You can’t argue it away, but it will subside in strength if you try not to engage in mental dialog about the event and it’s injustice.
Now you’re floating away and can’t get yourself to focus on your assignment. If only your assignment could float up to you. Maybe when it does, grab ahold of it and let it float with you. It’s part of your experience and maybe the weight of it pulls you both back down to earth and you are willing to be willing to try to spend some small amount of time with it. I think you must have been able to do this at some time in your past, yes? For me, sometimes starting a task is half the battle but starting it gives some momentum and being willing to try with some curiosity about how to engage the task rather than thinking how much I don’t want to do it. Of course distractions like with an unhelpful family member don’t make this process any easier and it’s at those times it might not be realistic to expect we can tackle anything that requires concentration. So try to ride out the emotional distress before you can have enough emotional energy to get your task done.
I hope you are making progress but if you're stuck try chat GPT or Gemini. It will help you organize your thoughts and come up with a game plan. I often have it breakdown things into small steps so I don't find it as intimidating to start. Once I have a plan I feel calmer and can get some stuff done. Don't use it to write your assignment since academic orgs are screening for that.
It's rough that your parents are giving you a hard time. School can be challenging enough.
