Identifying your limits
Something I sometimes struggle with is figuring out what I actually can and can’t do. It’s a common thing to be told you’re using ADHD as an excuse, or that you’re supposed to be able to do certain things without help that are actually really challenging for you. But because it’s hard to get reasonable accommodations, it can also be difficult to know in what ways I actually am capable of growing and changing. I’m curious how other people balance being fair to themselves; navigating when criticism (internal or external) actually has a valid point vs when it’s ableist.
@banbelion
Your post was so validating to hear! I'm 25 and I've never been diagnosed with ADHD but I feel like I'm on the spectrum. I struggle every day with tasks that seem easy but are not easy to me. I work as an afterschool teacher and it's so stressful. You have to be on high alert every minute of the day, keep control of your class, help them with their homework, and communicate with staff, all the while when there's so much noise going on in the background. Kids are always interrupting me and swear that what they need is the most important thing in the world. I always feel like I'm pulled in different directions. I feel that I'm very kind to myself telling myself that I'm human and deserve slack. But it's easier said than done. It's hard to be kind to yourself when people make you feel lazy and incompetent. I come in to work every day giving my all and I still mess up due to my limitations. I guess all we can do is remember that other people aren't going to see what's going on inside us. They will always be critical without knowing what's really going on. Remember that it's so much easier to criticize someone than it is to be compassionate with them. You're not alone. I'm here with you.
I definitely have a hard time knowing what my limits are. Growing up not knowing I was ADHD (I was diagnosed at 34), I was always taught to strive to always do more, do the most, and be the best at it. Down time was only if you “accomplished” things/tasks. I’ve gotten better about prioritizing, which helps. I’m also super lucky that I have a work team that understands my ADHD, is very accommodating, but also helps hold me to realistic expectations in a supportive way. They sometimes seem to know me better than I do because I am so hard on myself.
