Overcompensating for having ADHD + setting boundaries at work?
Hi everyone,
I am new in this community.
I am in college and doing a placement right now.
Everything is going well objectively, but I feel like I'm burning out already after less than a month because I'm not taking enough breaks and when I do take breaks, I feel super guilty and ashamed for needing them because of my ADHD.
My supervisor says that I'm doing great and actually need to relax more and pace myself to avoid burnout, but I can't...I feel like I have to work super hard to prove that I am not lazy....especially after being told that i'm lazy my whole life by family and teachers.
I am experiencing a lot of stress and doing well at the expense of my physical and mental health....and chugging energy drinks and coffee on top of being on stimulants so that I can maintain focus and do my research and see clients.
Everyone things that I'm doing great and that I know what I'm doing, but I feel like I am a childish mess and should not be trusted with so much autonomy and responsibility...
Any other ADHD over-achievers here?
I already almost messed up a previous placement in my main program (doing post grad now), because I struggled with admitting that I needed help and guidance with some things, and I don't want that to happen again!
Any advice on how to set boundaries and ask for help so I don't feel overwhelmed? I feel like I need to prove to them that i'm capable and hard-working, because my ADHD resulted in me quitting jobs in the past and doing poorly.
I do better now because what I'm doing is more creative and requires thinking, but inside I'm still struggling with t he usual ADHD stuff: trouble shifting my focus, time blindness, impulsivity, procrastination, distraction, emotional regulation, etc...but I don't want to admit to my supervisor that I'm struggling....
@Lonelyfox2017
Talking about problems isn't always helpful as they can just be cemented more into place; sharing with the wrong person, or at the wrong time or place can result in nothing happening or in being destroyed...one's words can and will be misinterpreted, misunderstood or mistaken.
Facing, making peace with and turning past mistakes into a lesson creates positive self change and growth that sees, slows and stops the cycle of guilt and isolation, making moving forward possible, even if it's just by a moment, millimeter or molecule, if that makes sense.
@Lonelyfox2017
Hello there, I hope you're doing well. I personally relate to your experience as someone who has symptoms of ADHD and who experienced burnout a lot in the past. I was in university and I got so burnt out I got extreme fatigue right after a test and passed out at the school clinic just after getting there. It was a learning experience to never let myself be in that situation.
What worked for me personally is making deals with myself. I tend to overwork as well so I usually plan on just doing chunks of the work daily as opposed to pushing against the limits of my entire being. No, it won't make us less competent or become someone who does worse in what we do, but we simply account for the time we need to recover. I know it can be extremely hard to stop it, and you shouldn't ever blame yourself for that. But just know that there are people out there who appreciate you regardless if you work yourself to the limit or not. Having all that on top of ADHD is not easy. If you're willing to talk, you can send me a chat so you'll feel less alone in this, and I'll make sure to accompany you and listen to everything you want to express 🩷
