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ADHD Burnout

beautifuldisasterx0 February 17th, 2023
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I'm feeling so burnt out, but it feels beyond burnt out. I'm trying to do things I normally enjoy but everything feels like a chore because I have no energy to do anything. I think I may also have autism, I'm on a waitlist for testing.

My brain feels broken. I can't seem to do anything productive. I'm in my office at work sitting in a corner rocking back and forth most of the day.

I feel overwhelmed, over stimulated and tired, but no amount of sleep seems to be helping.

I don't really know what to do. I want to take a day off work, but I can't financially afford to at the moment, my apartment is already a mess which doesn't help the overstimulation but I can't clean because I have no energy.

5
SleepyShyCat February 17th, 2023
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@beautifuldisasterx0

Hello, I understand what you're going through and how difficult it feels. I've personally been dealing with autistic burnout for the last few years.

It makes sense that this kind of burnout feels beyond burnt out - because the way burnout effects neurodivergent people is different to how it effects neurotypical people.

Often when a neurotypical person gets burnout, they rest and recover. When a neurodivergent person gets burnt-out however, at first they may not realise (potentially due to poor Interoception or Alexithymia) or cannot rest due to having to mask and meet the demands of neurotypical society, or the constant sensory overload or social difficulties etc. This means we keep pushing despite already being burnt out, until it gets to a point so far beyond burnout it is physically impossible to do anything.

Autistic or ADHD shutdown is a pervasive, long-term exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus. It is a state of physical and mental fatigue, heightened stress, and diminished capacity to manage life skills, sensory input, and social interactions, which comes from years of being severely overtaxed by the strain of trying to live up to demands that are out of sync with our needs.

If you haven't already, it could be helpful to research more into ADHD and Autistic burnout. It also might help to look into executive dysfunction, Autistic/ADHD fatigue, and shutdowns (eg autistic shutdown).

Recovery from this can be more complicated for neurodivergent people. Sleep might give you physical rest, but you also need mental rest - giving yourself space where you can fully unmask, engage in your interests, stim, not be overwhelmed by sensory input etc. can help as a starting point.

beautifuldisasterx0 OP February 17th, 2023
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@SleepyShyCat

Thanks for your response. I have done enough research to know that neurodivergent burnout is really intense and that it's different from neurotypical burnout, but like it's so hard because when you talk about it to a neurotypical and they say they get the burnout.

I really related to the part you said "cannot rest due to having to mask and meet the demands of neurotypical society, or the constant sensory overload or social difficulties etc." I feel like I can't get the rest I need because of all of those reasons. I feel like I'm always masking (which i think is part of why I feel so exhausted and burnt out), but i feel like I have no choice because I have to maintain my 40 hour a week job that mentally drains me. And I share my one bedroom apartment with someone and felt extremely overstimulated at home all week this week too because I barely got alone time and the sleep I do get doesn't feel restful. My job is also relatively new and a lot more social than I'm used to in some ways and so that makes it hard.

I think the bit I do know about neurodivergent burnout scares me because I don't know how to reverse it without letting my whole life fall apart. In the past burnout would push me to crisis and I'd end up in the hospital and I'd lose jobs, and then I'd become more stressed because I couldn't afford rent and I've been homeless, unable to find a job and place to live because of burnout and I never want to be in that place again, so I feel like I need to find a way to reverse the burnout while still getting the things I need to get done, done.

I don't have anyone that really helps carry the load. I'm sharing bills with a roommate right now, so that helps a bit, but I still have to work to maintain my end, and my bills, and I have to do my share of chores, and it's mostly those things that are making me feel so burnt out. I already feel bad I don't do more at the apartment.

SleepyShyCat March 8th, 2023
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@beautifuldisasterx0

Hello, how have you been recently?

I can understand how challenging it is to try to manage burnout while simultaneously trying to maintain everything else in life, and trying to get things done. It is very hard. Sometimes it can feel like a choice between self care and supporting yourself, and keeping up with unavoidable aspects of life.

Burnout for me became so severe I couldn't keep up with anything in life. So I can't work or study for the moment. What helped me was applying for as much support as I was able to have so that I could fully focus on myself. Finding a network of friends/family/support workers to have around you can help some too, if it's possible.

beautifuldisasterx0 OP March 8th, 2023
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@SleepyShyCat

I'm doing a bit better. I've had burnouts where I couldn't work before and that's what I was so afraid was about to happen again. Prior to this job I was only working 20 hours a week, but it was a job causing a lot of physical pain. My case manager was telling me she thinks that maybe it was burnout from the previous job still running it's course, more so than my current job and situation.

I definitely have to be more mindful of self-care and my work-life balance to make sure I'm not pushing myself too hard. I don't check my work email or messages when I'm not working and I take frequent small breaks, and it's helping. I also have some good professional supports. I have an employment specialist through the mental health center and division of vocational rehab, I have a case manager, psychiatrist and therapist that all support me with my mental health. I don't have much family and friend support so I am thankful for my treatment team that I have.

SleepyShyCat March 9th, 2023
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@beautifuldisasterx0

Burnout from previous situations can certainly linger for some time unfortunately, but the good thing is when the stressor that triggered the burnout is removed, it is much easier to recover. It sounds like you're taking good steps to help, and I'm glad you've found small things that help ease this, and a good support system with your treatment team.

Hopefully with a little more time you will notice even more improvements :)