i make things weird and seem to be always thinking about sex-related things

gosh, i don't even know what to write or what to say that'll describe what's going on my mind... it's 2:20am here... okay, i'm a 18 year old woman/girl... i'm sure i'm not a porn or sex addicted, but i do worry about having a... "disturbing" behavior with sex-related topics... idk how to describe it. i was 10 the first time i search for naked people online, i can't really remember how often i watched porn, saw these pics and masturbated... i've always felt the need to control myself because of religion, but it's been 2 years since that doesn't longer matter to me as much... i've always thought about sex, that's normal, but i'm not sure if as frequently as i do and not at almost every situation (not like i imagine doing it with the people i am with at the moment, no, more like daydreaming with sex... if that makes sense)... sometimes i feel my "hornyness" is a coping mechanism of mine. i seem to have more interest in porn and masturbation as i feel worse, so being in a bad mood is like the click for it to happen... i had a girlfriend and we used to do couple stuff, not sex, but teasing and making out, mostly online, we dated secretly... i spent most of the time thinking about her and imagining being intimate with her... we broke up but remained being friends... i think she's moved on, but i didn't... i still think about here like that and try to get her in the mood, but it's not gonna work, it bothers her, it's uncomfortable, i know, but i just keep behaving badly with her... she knows i want her more than as just friend, but i know she doesn't anymore... sometimes i feel like i'm always thinking about sex or sex-related things... i don't masturbate as much as i used to years ago... i do it every 2 weeks more or less and i don't usually watch porn, i try very hard to not to, if it happens it's like once or twice a month... and when i do watch porn it's just until i get "satisfied" (i don't think i'm ever really satisfied, i don't feel like it's good enough) after that i don't even see the point of watching that, most of it it's fake anyway and those that aren't probably were posted without authorization... anyway, when i'm really low i "discount" on masturbation and if i'm really bad/horny and it's after 1am i'll probably search for and watch a porn... i mean... i am always thinking about sex, i never get to do it (although i got really close to a few times), when i do masturbate most of the times aren't as good as i expected, i don't see the point of watching porn (i know i just shouldn't) and i'm making my best friend (ex-gf) really uncomfortable with my constant attempts of teasing her into a sexy vibe with me... she doesn't want it. also sometimes i just hit on people then i regret it after my hornyness pass (one time i even had a panic attack for that). i'm that one person that keeps asking for nudes.