Hello PoliteKiwi2674,
I understand the struggle, and the war that rages inside to overcome this. Like an earlier responder stated, the porn and acting out are typically the symptoms of deeper rooted issues, and as long as we keep fighting the symptoms (or spider webs), we’ll never get down to the real issues (or the spider).
In my many years of research and search for relief, I’ve come across some very helpful resources that have help me understand multiple aspects of why we as humans are so prone to addictions. For me, I understand we are a complex being, made up of mind, will, emotions (soulish part). We have a spiritual dimension, and an outer dimension, called the body. Believe me, I’m not trying to get this weird on you, but understanding these aspects will enable you to dig deeper to understand some developmental need that you likely did not receive. This is not to shame our past, rather to name the need that was unfulfilled so that you can understand the deep seeded root. Once you identified that, you can look to see how that need could be met in healthier ways and heal from your addictions. One book I found especially helpful is called ‘Surfing for God,’ by Michael John Cusick. Excellent well rounded book grounded in the understanding of science, psychology, and the spirituality of man. If you would like to know more, I’d be willing to share more with you on this idea. Understand one thing, my goal is solely focused on your healing and desire to overcome.
Hope this helps!