Porn addiction for last 3 years, how do i stop?
I have been watching porno since 6th class, but started to get addicted to it from last 3 years as i was feeling so low in life that it gave me immense pleasure. From there on i have been consuming it a lot, and from anywhere i can find. Online, reddit, telegram, dark web(yes, i went there too had horrible experience) and maybe somewhere else too.
I don't do smoking, weed or any other thing but porn is my only addiction but it's the addiction which have completely destroyed me. 2021 will go down as the 'Year of Porn' for me. I have watched more porn last year than in my entire life. I have gone tired, my mind is tired, I have no motivation to do stuff, I feel like staying alone.
I have started to avoid people because of this. People try to come close to me and I keep avoiding them, and I forceful push them away. I feel so sad to do that. I failed at love life, tried hard so many times, but no girl liked me the way i wished only got friendzoned or rejected.
I need to stop it now. Like really and seriously, I have come to realise that it won't happen overnight, but how do I start, how do I get away from it because by one way or the other I find a way to watch it. Especially if I have stopped for a while and watch it, then I continue fap streak for months!!
I need help guys, seriously, I want to change! A advise and help will help a lot.
Thank You.
@amiableFig7651 It may be helpful to explore why do you watch pornography in the first place. You may say '"It is pleasurable", but note, it is actually bothering you.
Pornography is often used as a tool to numb out uncomfortable feelings. It is also used as a substitute for real connection. It is a cheapening of sex. No real intimacy is reached through pornography- it can be a way of avoiding it. There may be other immediate motivations: boredom, lack of a sense of meaning, absence of other coping skills, affective immaturity, loneliness.
You may need professional help. Our brains weren't made for addiction. Addiction is a hijacking of the brain. Psychologists help make the unconscious conscious so that you can figure out your problems and solutions.
A habit needs to be substituted for another habit. If you find what is the problem or the feeling that you may be trying to cope with through porn usage, you can make plans on how you think you could better deal with those feelings and solve those problems. Porn may also give you a feeling of control- until you realize you don't actually have it.
If your trigger is boredom, you may want to make plans on how your are going to have fun. If it's a routine habit, you have to see what else you are going to do in that time in which you watch porn. If feelings are your trigger, you may have to read about managing emotions and how to safely experience those feelings, gradually, until you learn to tolerate them (akin as how we learn to tolerate very spicy food). If places trigger it, you may want to avoid certain places, or, let's say the trigger place is the bathroom, stick to a strict rule of no smartphones in the bathroom, phones and screens off in the bedroom, etc. It will be uncomfortable. But you CAN tolerate it. Then your brain can rewire itself.
Think of all the good things you can achieve through stopping porn usage. You'll have more time and energy for other things, including interactions maybe with real women or real people. You would feel proud of yourself: you have more control of your life, more control over your impulses, you will have proven to yourself that you are free. You could improve in several areas of your life of your choosing.
You would probably need to give up masturbation. Sexual imagery created by your mind isn't much different from the one on your screen. It is okay, good and healthy to give up such behavior. It is hard at first. But resisting it also gives you the opportunity to realize what you were feeling before you wanted to do that, and realizing what you were feeling and why can give you a chance to face and solve the situation. Pornography consumption leads to consumption of ever more explicit, violent pornography, which in some instances leads to the consumption of pornography that contains actual rapes and children: by stopping, you help reduce the future demand for this awful product and help keep men, women and children safe from sexual trafficking and sexual abuse, and save yourself shame and self-disgust. You can also become a light for others to quit.
Thank you for sharing and talking about it. There are online support groups of people giving up pornography. You are not alone. Hugs.
@amiableFig7651
This is post about porn addiction Growth Path Click here
Hope it can help 💜 you can do it! ⭐
