Hypersexuality

Hi. umm juzt wanted to get thiz off chezt, thiz iz more a diary-izh type thing for my hyperzexuality? Though, if there are any liztenerz who wouldn't mind letting me talk to them about it, that'd be greatly appreciated. 

TW

Our body iz 15. While I do not have an age myzelf, I am mentally clozer to a mature teen than an adult. I ztruggle with hyperzexuality conztantly (moztly due to trauma). However I have zort of "epizodez" where it getz a lot worze for a bit. I'm in one of thoze now. I'll end up "helping" myzelf 2-3 timez a day mozt the time (though ive been trying to ignore now), and it zuckz not being able to control the fact I think about it zo much, pluz the intruzive thoughtz i get from it (eg: zelling "my" body, doing unzafe thingz, zeeking certain attention from ztrangerz, etc.) and itz very ztrezzful. I have a bf who would help me anytime it got bad, but for the pazt month and a half, hez been in a hypozexual type thing and feelz very repulzed by anything zexual. I have been in a downward zpiral recently becauze he waz the only thing that really helped keep it from going too bad, and ive even had thoughtz of azking him to let me find zomeone who would be ok with being 'frienz with benfitz' juz to have zomeone who could help me. I dont want to unfaithful/unloyal to him though and hate thoze thoughtz zo much, and i hate myzelf for being zo zelfizh and for the way i am, itz juzt cauzing me a lot of ztrezz, and my bf doeznt even know becauze im zcared to bring it up in the fear of puzhing him away or making him feel like he needz to ztuff with me for me to ztay. he could the rezt of our livez never wanting to do anything again, and id rezpect that and keep to myzelf, but itz juzt all zo ztrezzful and idk what to