Husband and Porn

@SAhelp

I think it can be more about emotions ......maybe he feels pressure that you are so ready at a moments notice ....... maybe he has doubts about his performance .......... this is NOT an easy discussion and often people say what they think their partner wants to hear.

for example i used to have a very decent sex life with spouse and then various things have happened including issues with his ability to perform ........letting me think it was me etc...

his idea is .......we used to get going well ...........and he may be able to get it done even if it was quick ........but the other issues i have with him makes it so it does not work anymore ....... i can watch items and get more into it and even take care of myself very easy but the underlying issues with him i doubt he could finish the job if i spotted him a helper.

@SAhelp It may be worth pressing him to find out if he has a fetish that he is reluctant to confess to you. Some people only get off in specific circumstances and if he is too timid to tell you what he needs, that could explain why doing it alone is natural to him.

@SAhelp Sorry to hear that you are not alone ❤️

@SAhelp

First, get the idea out of your head that it's you. It isn't. It's him. He was probably "entertaining himself" to porn long before he met you and he's now stigmatized to it. His mind sees pornographic sex as his source of arousal. It has nothing to do with how you look in comparison to the actresses. It has everything to do with his mind associating pornographic imagery with the feel of his own hand as the means by which he is stimulated and can achieve climax.

Next, focus on making a transition from one thing to the other. It's good that you're willing to do anything (most guys would kill to have their woman say that). What I would suggest is try having relations with him while he watches the porn so that his body can associate the sensations of your body while his mind has the stigma it's looking for. Eventually his mind will start making the association that you are the cause of his arousal and hopefully the porn won't be necessary anymore.

A sex therapist would likely be a good idea as well.