Am I a sex addict
I've always had a very strong sex drive but as I've heard other men talk to me about their sex lives I think that mine is abnormal. If I don't have a regular sexual release my thoughts weigh on me and it's hard to focus on anything else. I'm married with kids so I have very little free time and privacy to masturbate. Because I need to finish quickly I have started watching porn more frequently. I would never choose porn over the real thing with my wife but her drive is so much lower than mine.
I've never cheated on my wife, thinking about sex a lot can make it harder to focus on home and work but it doesn't prevent me from meeting my responsibilities, if I have the time and privacy I will usually choose to masturbate without porn, when I do consume porn I am intentional in staying away from things that are extreme or wife create an unrealistic expectation of sex. My community is strict and religious and I feel like they would label my behavior as unhealthy and call me an addict. Am I a sex addict or just a man with a high sex drive?
@Jimlovesbbws It sounds to me that you just have a strong sex drive. Religious communities commonly have unwarranted perceptions of sex and sexual desire. This can make people in these communities worry about and dwell on those kinds of thoughts which can make dealing with them worse at times. I've experienced that myself.
It is normal and healthy for someone to masturbate and use porn inside of a relationship. As you said, it can be very helpful when your drives aren't lining up.
You also mentioned how this is not a replacement for sex with your wife. This is true as they are different experiences. Some people have this perception that when their partner masturbates that this is somehow a slight against them and this is very much mistaken. We wouldn't really say that about anything else. Just because your partner plays video games without you, it wouldn't mean that they don't still enjoy and want to play video games with you at other times. I don't know if this would ever be the case, but if your wife is ever insecure about any of this, maybe something like that might help to reassure them.
To me, the most important thing in your post for answering your question is that this doesn't interfere with your responsibilities. If this isn't interfering with other aspects of your life that matter to you, then you should be fine. If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about being a sex addict unless it starts to cause issues or you foresee that it will cause issues in the future. I hope you find this helpful. ❤️
Thanks for your opinion. One of the things I kept seeing about sex addicts is sexual behavior in public. I have very little privacy and free time at home and I have masturbated in the bathroom at work because it is the only place I could have privacy. It's not every day that I do it at work and if I can I much prefer doing it at home. I do worry about porn. When I masturbate with porn it's much more efficient which helps disrupt my life less and my release is more intense which provides relief for a longer period of time but I've read so much about the negatives of viewing porn and porn addiction. What is the difference between liking porn and being a porn addict?
I have tried really hard to communicate with my wife more about sex and it's very difficult. She has a much lower drive so I don't think she really understands how these urges affect me. She knows that I desire more sex with her and that I masturbate and watch porn but she definitely doesn't understand how intense my urges are and how often I need to address them in order to feel relief. It's difficult not having people to be able to talk to about this because they all have such strong negative feelings
@Jimlovesbbws It may be better for someone that knows more about some part of this topic to chime in here for some of this, but from what I've seen, one of the main things it comes down to is as I mentioned, how does this impact other aspects of your life?
I would also be careful not to believe all the negatives that you hear or read about porn use. There is a lot of bad information out there and I'm sure you have heard some of that information from your community as well. These people that told you these things usually mean well, but they are likely mistaken. That's not to say there can't be downsides as with anything when people develop unhealthy habits, but this is often overblown due to the stigma that has been placed on porn use.
@Jimlovesbbws However, I will also add that I wouldn't personally consider masturbating in a public bathroom out of convenience as a big issue as long as it is done so privately, like in a stalls and not at the sink or something. ;) I'll admit to masturbating in a bathroom a few times myself.
Yes I did it in the stall and did it as privately as possible. I would be mortified if someone knew what I was doing in there. It's mainly as issue at work when it makes it difficult to focus and I worry about coworkers noticing me with an erection. I feel very embarrassed about it. Your comments have made me feel better about my situation. I think that maybe I just have a high drive but that my high drive probably makes me higher risk for developing addictions to sex and porn. I think if I monitor how it affects my life and I start to note that it's negatively affecting my relationship or responsibilities then I need to get help
Hey, it's okay to not be satisfied with your wife as well. This happens with men that are very much into porn. Don't want to be vulgar here, but wives don't welcome things in reality, which we men like in porn. Things like ***jobs etc. Using escorts works fine some times. It's best to keep yourself busy in work and in exercise! Gyming or sports will let you forget this habit for sure!
Husbands and wifes are suppost to come togther regularly.
1 Corinthians 7:3-4
3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
1 Corinthians 7:5
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.