I can't do this anymore

@redMoon5704

I am sorry you feel this way. Everyone deserves to be happy. It takes lots of effort and determination, but there is always hope. Would you like to share more about what is going on for you and what have you already tried to feel better?

My husband keeps getting messed up on meth. And putting all blame of how he is feeling on me. I want to tell him to leave but having 3 kids it's just hard for me to do. Says I should accept it and just show him that I'm here. But I just wish he would choose not making me mad and breaking my trust for him. Over me and our kids. I have nobody to vent to because I don't want my family or friends knowing that he's doing drugs. I just don't want to be around him when he's high because he acts stupid and don't want my kids around him like that. In my head all day everyday I worry if he's going to come home high

In domestic violence class they tell you that in an unhealthy relationship, you're waiting for the other shoe to drop. Leave I believe that the way a non-using partner is constantly going back out it's the same thing. Emotionally abusive/ unavailable/ untrusting.

I have a daughter with a man who's done the same thing to me. Having left my 2nd husband; I found myself in a new relationship with a guy who I thought had it all together. We started out somewhat casual and we were using together. Naturally things in my life got worse and I could no longer take care of my children. I ended up in jail and lost my place. When I got out I ended up being dependent on him. In and out of jail until finally I was pregnant my father had just passed away and I chose to go back home to the woman who raised me.

The father of my daughter came to visit a few times. Once he went to a doctor's appointment with me. On another occasion he showed me a bottle of morphine and a syringe. His mother had just passed away and he planned to kill himself with it. I knew I wouldn't be able to save him so I told him to stay away. When the baby was born I did reach out to him and after about a week had passed he came for us.

The house that we can conceived our daughter in was an unlivable conditions, that was our "home".The bassinet that a friend had given us ;as soon as she found out about the baby; wasn't even put together.

My daughter and I move five times before her first birthday. Majority of the time to have something to do with being fed up with his using or his violent outbursts. He's been in and out; few days here couple weeks there sometimes she doesn't hear from him for a month or longer. We've tried living together but the fights are always the same. Either he's lying about using or picking a fight so that he can go out and do it again. It's frustrating makes you angry, leaves you confused, makes you wonder why he just doesn't care.

It's put a fear in me- if this is how life has been having this man in my life. How much worse will it be for someone else to come in.

@redMoon5704 I do not have the words to bring you comfort or a solution to the problem in your marriage. I only hope that by sharing my with you; you'll know you aren't alone.