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tommy profile picture
NEW - Addiction Support Automated Taglist
by tommy
Last post
 December 6th
...See more Welcome to the NEW Addiction Support Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 1st July (updated by @tommy)
VinylFly profile picture
Family Members and Friends of People with Addictions
by VinylFly
Last post
 July 2nd
...See more Hello everyone, I wanted to create a place for people who are dealing with a loved one's addiction to get access to support and feel welcome in this community. If you are a family member, a friend or have any other relationship to someone with an addiction, come introduce yourself, share your story, and seek and provide support here
thoughtfulmomma profile picture
My husband is an alcoholic
by thoughtfulmomma
Last post
 March 24th
...See more I haven't vocalized it to anyone. But I need to say it somewhere. I have already told him he drinks too much, but he doesn't care. He's a functioning alcoholic - has a job and doesn't drink during the day (as far as I know), but as soon as he's home he just can't wait to pour a drink for himself. He doesn't "have a cocktail." He drinks. I don't even think he cares what it tastes like, just as long as it fills a glass. And I know he has a bottle or two in a closet or hidden somewhere where I don't see because he knows I hate his drinking. And of course, when he drinks, he's a jerk. And I look forward to when he passes out so I don't have to deal with him. I'm sick of dealing with it. I miss the person I married years ago. He was nice. He was funny. He was helpful. He cared about things. Now he's just angry and bitter and hates everything and everyone and it's impossible to be around someone like that. And the alcohol just amplifies it. He won't admit there's an issue except to occasionally say "I know I drink too much sometimes" and as much I think he could really benefit with some therapy, he wouldn't ever consider it. This is not how I want the next years of my life to play out. I want to have fun and go do things and live life. But without a change, I don't see us doing much of anything together. Just needed to get this off my chest. Maybe to help me know that it is real and isn't just "he occasionally drinks too much." If I verbalize it, maybe I will stop pretending to myself.
HopefulMamaof4 profile picture
My partner smokes weed all day everyday and its tearing us apart.
by HopefulMamaof4
Last post
 January 20th
...See more Hi guys, **Heads up, it's a long thread** I'm feeling so confused, unheard and alone. So when I met hubby he was a functional pothead and apart from that everything was fine and we were very much in love for years - I had excepted that it was apart of him. But I soon noticed that once we had children he changed and was smoking more and getting agro when not on it. It was always him needing it, finding it, buying it, travelling to get it. it was the first thing he did when he got home from work...went to the shed. He is a lovely man, has always been In fulltime work providing for me and our 4 children. Hes a very involved father the kids adore him and that is why I feel stuck. I feel like I'm always the bad guy because hes always trying to please everyone else at my expense. The arguing got worse and so did my depression - I tried to talk to him so many times but he always turned it around to be my fault. After 13 years I decided to leave him. He didnt try to fight for me, he acted as he didnt care at all and carried on with his life. Living alone, smoking pot and playing video games. It wasn't until he badly broke his arm and couldn't get weed that he sobered up and realised what he has lost, he was a different man, he was always making sure I was happy, backing me up when the kids were disrespectful instead of his cruisey undermining "it's all good" attitude. He asked for a second chance so after 1 year we got back together. I finally felt loved and that I was his priority!  This lasted about a year and I noticed him smoking about once a month, it wasn't causing any change in him but I still said I'm not going back to how we were...slowly it started to get more often and I kept reminding him I'm not doing it again, he said he wouldn't go back but it just got worse until it's now back to hes always stoned. I can never talk to him so I wrote him a big email of how I was feeling and how it was effecting me... he said nothing, just kept smoking, day after day of me in tears telling him how much it is effecting me and the kids and he just didnt care so I got to the point of saying it's the drugs or the family - he got all defensive like always, blamed it on me so I said wow so your choosing drugs over us and he said of course I can stop it its not important....but the next day it's all forgotten and he carries on. I love him so much and dont see my life without him, apart from this he is an amazing, hardworking, kind and loveable guy....I just dont get any of that side of him...I dont how what to do, do I learn to live with it and find coping strategies or do I pack my bag and give him the ultimatum once more....? I'm so depressed and feel so alone and unworthy. :,(
meg113 profile picture
Trust
by meg113
Last post
 July 6th, 2023
...See more How can I trust him again after he lied to me about using drugs?
bestNest4316 profile picture
Brothers
by bestNest4316
Last post
 May 31st, 2023
...See more Yesterday I had to call P.E.R.T on my brother. He was mentally not doing good because he is an addict to meth. He use to live in Mexico and we lost contact with him for 6 years and now that he's back we don't know how to help him get over his addiction we know he went through a lot trying to come back here to his kids and he doesn't want to lose them again after so long.
bestNest4316 profile picture
Idk what to do anymore
by bestNest4316
Last post
 May 25th, 2023
...See more My family is scared of my brother but no one has the heart to call 911 on him he got out of the psych ward yesterday but he is using meth and is going crazy. He thinks we are going to steal his stuff and he scared my brother and step dad. I tried getting him help but I'm leaving tomorrow for a trip and I'm having second thoughts on going but I also really need to go on this vacation because I'm so stressed I'm the youngest of all my 5 siblings but I have to make a lot of the hard choices. I just don't want to hurt my mom by calling the cops on him and I don't want to upset anyone else. But I'm scared for everyone's safety idk what to do
OneMoreVice profile picture
My boyfriend is an alcoholic
by OneMoreVice
Last post
 December 6th, 2022
...See more How do you cope with a partner that has relapsed & is progressively getting worse? I've never really had to deal with an alcoholic one-on-one before & I have no idea what I'm doing. I find myself getting angry & resentful towards him. I've come to accept that it's a mental illness but knowing that just isn't enough at this point.
lovemyhusband20 profile picture
Heartbroken 💔
by lovemyhusband20
Last post
 December 3rd, 2022
...See more My husband left me today for another woman in a different state. I found out he has actively been using meth. His sister and mom and I are trying to get him back here and get help. We are lost on what to do to begin.
blitheSun94 profile picture
Losing a Loved One to Addiction
by blitheSun94
Last post
 November 13th, 2022
...See more TRIGGER WARNING: This post makes mention of substance abuse, suicide, prostitution, and overdose. I am sharing this for all of you who have lost a loved one to addiction. If there is a community guideline violation within this text, please notify me. My goal is to send and receive awareness and support. Four months ago, I received word that my family is more dysfunctional than I ever even imagined. A couple of years ago, my youngest cousin on my mother’s side was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. She grew increasingly delusional before finally being admitted to a psychiatric facility in Minnesota for the better part of six months. She seemed to experience some relief there and was subsequently released from treatment. She was stable for a period of time, started being a mom again, and genuinely seemed to be doing well. April 8th, 2022 was the 13-year anniversary of my grandfather’s suicide, and I think it was no coincidence that this event coincided with another episode for her. The next day she was reported to police as a missing and vulnerable person. On Thursday, April 14th, 2022, my sister called me at 1:40am to report that she had been found. She stated that she was puking the entire ride home. Shortly after, she didn’t want to talk much and slept for the next two days. Upon waking, she swiftly confronted her mother in a loud and violent manner with her kids in the next room. Her mother was asking her to go to the hospital, and my cousin became paranoid that that was just an excuse to place her on a 72-hour psychiatric hold. My sister revealed to me that my cousin has a meth problem on top of her Schizophrenia, and this isn’t the first time this has happened. She often prostitutes herself to support her habit. My cousin later confessed to her mother that something sexual in nature took place during the time she was missing but she still refuses to discuss it in detail. My sister told me she was totally off her rocker. It seemed she has discontinued her medication and was having a break with reality. Later that week she lost legal custody of her children and is considered a missing person once again. Navigating addiction and mental illness is so heartbreaking. She used to be the sweetest most talented girl I know, and now she’s on the fast track to pass away at the age of 24 while leaving two beautiful babies in her wake. By nightfall I was crying on the shower floor. A weird grief moved through me knowing my family was suffering and I have to distance myself from that. On the other hand, it completely reinforced the fact that I made the right decision by leaving years ago. I can’t imagine being there now and actively being exposed to these things again, much less my son. It has made me so grateful for my own wife and kids. Even our worst day pales by comparison. My youngest cousin was located and returned home briefly only to find that days later her older sister was discovered unresponsive by police in her apartment. The police notified my aunt around June 15th, 2022 and my sister called me sobbing. Needless to say, we were utterly devastated awaiting conclusion on her manner of death and trying to decide what to do with her remains. The toxicology findings were that she died of a fentanyl overdose, her remains were cremated as it was too expensive to transport her the three-hour trek north, and her funeral was held June 30th, 2022 at the Vinyard Church in Duluth, Minnesota. She was twenty-seven years old. The whole thing has been surreal and heartbreaking. Amid my own grief I was forced to juggle the various reactions and poor coping skills of my family members. I spent the first couple of days in shock before the real grief hit. It soon came to light that she had been hospitalized for sepsis and covid just weeks earlier. It makes me sick to know that that sweet little girl I grew up with strayed so very far. Since her death, her younger sister has gone missing again. It is assumed that she is running the streets of Minneapolis the same way her sister did and will succumb to the same fate while her children sit in foster care. In the days that followed, I wrote this: “How many times must one family tragically bury their loved ones before their time? I can no longer sustain the blows or wailing phone calls. I find myself reduced to tearful shock, nausea, and exasperation by the circumstances that keep my family rooted so deeply in generational trauma. So many of us have lost the fight trying to claw our way out. Perhaps least of all was [she] suspected of that same outcome. She was a devoted big sister, a lover of God and goodness, a talented musician, a gifted student and artist making her way in the big city. She was the first daughter of my uncle, who is also my namesake. She was only just beginning. [she] leaves behind a little sister who I worry won’t know how to navigate without her, her parents, grandparents, cousins, nieces, nephews, and everyone who had the joy of loving her. She was so far from herself toward the end, and we had drifted apart due to the very nature of reckless mental illness. Still, I can’t help but remember that beautiful little girl with big brown eyes and a song in her heart. [Her] legacy could have been worlds apart from the addiction that consumed her. I will forever grieve that missed potential, and those left behind to suffer. Rest now, babygirl. No more pain.” Subsequently, I sunk into a deep depression and forced myself back to my support group where I told [her] story and cried in front of a room full of strangers. It has been difficult to process and even now I am frequently having to pause while writing this. I tried to travel home for the funeral, but I was too new in my current role and my job only offers three days bereavement leave for immediate family members. Unfortunately, that means that [her] passing did not qualify. I was able to attend via facetime, however. As I sat in my car and saw my entire family grieving, I quickly resented all of it. I do need to go home eventually, though. If for no other reason than to learn the truth of exactly what happened. If you have lost a loved one to addiction, I invite you to use this space to share your wisdom and reconciliation in the comments below. Anything helps. Thank you for reading.
LilyOfTheValley1936 profile picture
Spouse no longer drinking, how to move forward when so much has changed
by LilyOfTheValley1936
Last post
 August 27th, 2022
...See more I’ve been with my husband for 23 years. He developed a drinking problem that got worse after he almost died from covid. It got to the point that I had to leave our home, with our kids, because he was verbally and emotionally abusive while drunk, and because I couldn’t just sit there and watch him kill himself. If he drinks, he WILL die. I don’t mean that in a dramatic way. Covid destroyed his body. If he continues to drink, it’s not a matter of if, or eventually, it’s an any day level of terror. My leaving was a wake up call. He is now getting help. I am not back in our home yet. He does not understand the impact of all that happened when he was actively drinking. I do understand that a great deal of the things he did and said were because of the drinking, the addiction, but they still happened. They still hurt. I don’t know how much to tell him. He doesn’t remember so much of it, and I don’t want him feeling even worse, yet he needs to understand why I am making the decisions I am making and why I need time to rebuild trust. He lashes out at me, doesn’t believe me when I say I do intend to return home, and I get why. He genuinely doesn’t remember all of it. He also has memory issues from covid, and it’s like constantly walking a tightrope trying to do what’s best for him and his recovery, while keeping my own sanity and sticking to my boundaries. The load on me has been too much. He was drinking before he got sick, but after he got sick, and nearly died, having him get blackout drunk and turn into this person I don’t know, while I make sure he sees his seven specialists and take care of our kids and home and manage the financial fallout from everything… And we are both different people now. I don’t think anyone could go through all we have and not be changed by it. I understand things will take time. I just don’t know right now how to get to a point where I don’t feel the need to walk on eggshells as far as his recovery and his health. I miss my partner. I miss having his support through things. I used to go to him first about everything, and now, with this, I feel like I can’t. I don’t want to have to say that he would scream at me for hours straight while he was drunk. That’s not who he is sober. I don’t want to have to say I left because of his actions. Addiction is a beast, and he truly is trying. I just can’t snap my fingers and go back to normal when normal doesn’t and can’t exist anymore. We have to find a new normal, and I’m lost. And so burned out. And a few months of him getting help just isn’t enough for me to be able to relax. I also have been having health issues, and the stress of that isn’t helping anything. I’m trying to get him well, get myself well, be a mom, be a good friend, and I feel like I’m failing at every last bit of it. It’s lonely. It’s heavy. And I’m exhausted.
blueWater1154 profile picture
Lonely Wife
by blueWater1154
Last post
 August 10th, 2022
...See more My husband is a sex addict and that's what ruined our marriage now separated and looking at divorce.
sincereBalsam9865 profile picture
Dad
by sincereBalsam9865
Last post
 July 30th, 2022
...See more My dad has had a problem with drinking for around 3 years now i think. the past year becoming much more serious, he doesnt admit it but i think it would be considered alcoholic. i only found out a couple of months ago along with my siblings. we’ve had so many long conversation with him where he says he’ll stop, he goes to meetings but can just never stop. every single day. he says terrible thing i can only hope he doesnt mean. i’m only 14 so im pretty fragile you could say. added on to him constantly insulting me and then telling me he loves me the next day when i’ll confront him is hard. i feel stuck. 14 years old, covid and alcohol stuffing up everything.

Addiction Support

Please note: bolded grey text is hyperlinked.

Welcome to Addiction Support! We are so pleased that you have stumbled across our little corner of the internet. Our community is here to support you through any recovery and/or pathway from substances to gambling, internet, self-harm, porn addiction, sex addiction, and more. All are welcome to participate whether you are a family member watching a loved one struggling or if you are struggling yourself. Feel free to discuss anything and everything related to addictions.


What are the different forum topics for Addiction Support?

Community Space: A place for you to introduce yourself and take part in our community check-ins.

Games and Icebreakers: A place for you to get to know other community members by participating in fun games!

General Addiction Support: Do you have a question or want to share more about your addiction? Do it here!

Journals: Want to share your story or involve us on your journey to recovery? Do it here!

Loving Those With Addictions: Got a loved one with an addiction? Share your story here!

Sex and Porn Addiction Support: Struggling with a sex and/or porn addiction? Discuss it here!


How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable to). Alternatively, you may wish to join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.


Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our taglist to be notified every time a new discussion or update is posted!


Addiction Support FAQ

Are there any sub-community specific guidelines that we need to adhere to?

All sub-community specific guidelines can be found below and should be followed in addition to the general forum guidelines.


Help... I still have a question! 

You can ask your questions in this thread and someone will respond to you as soon as possible.

Community Guidelines

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In this light, learning to accept feedback thankfully.

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See more detailed forum guidelines below.

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