Why do I always turn back to the thing that hurts me most?
I feel like such a horrid and terrible person, I want to find that push to find a way to truly get fully off of marijuana and nicotine. Yesterday I had a bad incident at school where I greened out so severely and badly I had to get EMS called for me and have my vitals checked, I remember being so scared laying in that cot in the nurse's office, but I felt so safe and loved at the same time by people who are just doing their jobs in the medical field. But that support and love is the same kind I feel from weed but of course no matter what I say I'm going to do to change I always turn back and let everyone around me down by telling them another lie of "I'm going to change !" I just want to be able to truly be at peace without being dead, but I'm setting myself up for constant suffering anyways.
@L33CHES
Hey L33CHES, I've been in your shoes. It takes time, but if you keep trying eventually something will stick. You will improvise, adapt, and can overcome it. Its not easy at all, no lie. Quitting smoking was one of the hardest, if not *THE* hardest thing I've done. It took many tries. It took years of saying "no" every single day, multiple times a day. But, I put my foot down and shut the door on it.
You're under a lot of stress. Its totally understandable that you're in a tough place and that makes it even harder. Those people who are helping take care of you, they do it out of love knowing this. There is no expectation that you're going to succeed every single time you try. Just keep trying. <3
I truly appreciate it, I really hope I can change myself now rather than later thought because I'm still in school, Thank you <3
@L33CHES
Hi,
I don't understand a whole lot about addiction. But I do know it's really hard. Maybe the first time is your choice, but it was probably peer pressure or something like that. I know from what i've learned at school that addiction is a really hard thing to get over. I know that there's programs out there that you could use maybe? I'm not an expert on this stuff, but mostly i'd just like to say: *hugs* *lots and lots of hugs*
i appreciate it, my first time was peer pressure yes, but afterwards it was completely on my own, i cant afford programs but i do plan on reaching out to the chemical specialist in my school!
@L33CHES
I'm sorry if I made you feel bad in any way, and I'm really sorry. I hope that you can reach out to your chemical specialist, and I'm sending you good vibes.