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Becoming aware šŸ˜¢

amusingMoon4593 January 16th, 2023

I was just recently told ā€œI need helpā€ and that I have a ā€œserious drinking problemā€. I started to question if maybe I do.


He said I became aggressive, but what I recall I donā€™t believe I did. None the less, my memory is foggy and not all I can remember clearly. After saying that, maybe I do have a problem I havenā€™t been wanting to recognize and accept. I just wished he would have been better with his approach when he said that to me.


At the moment Iā€™m feeling a lot of emotions that I canā€™t quiet figure out. Most of all I feel ashamed and lonely. My life has taken an unexpected turn and Iā€™m faced with difficulties I didnā€™t think Iā€™d be dealing with at this point in life. He was someone I thought I could trust and ultimately thatā€™s not the case.


I told him I was sorry that I didnā€™t mean to hurt him. This had been the first time something like that has ever happened. The way he treated me after is what Iā€™m having a hard time with. This is someone Iā€™ve known for years and he treated me like someone he had just met.


I will take accountability for my ā€œepisodeā€. I did over do it and perhaps I got physical with him. I am currently looking for help to stop drinking, but Iā€™m mostly hurt the way he treated me after. I keep telling myself that I need to find a positive out of this terrible action.


Im confronting my drinking problem, I apologized to him, but it wasn't enough for him. It does hurt because this was someone I really cared about and he treated me like a nobody. I wasnā€™t given a chance to make it right. He made me feel broken, crazy, ashamed, dirty, and empty. šŸ˜¢. I do feel terrible about having hurt him but how can I try to fix something I wasnā€™t given a chance to fix?


thanks for listening. Maybe I just needed to finally say it to be able to move forward with my life. Im striving to make my life better and healthier.


2
shyCurrent1855 January 16th, 2023

@amusingMoon4593

i am going through something similar. I had major trauma and drinking seemed to help. It never made me aggressive. But he broke it off though he drinks whenever he wants. 15. Itā€™s been 2 years since we talked so I guess heā€™s fine without me. I miss him a lot.

1 reply
amusingMoon4593 OP January 16th, 2023

@shyCurrent1855


He says I did. I donā€™t remember fighting or arguing. So idk.


ya, I understand that.


i guess they really didnā€™t care about us the same we cared for them. The more time passes Iā€™m hoping the less it hurts.

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