Sober Birthday Blues
This feels really weird to complain about, but I really need to get it off my chest.
I used to party, and had a lot of friendships that invloved late nights and drugs or alcohol use. I knew a lot of people, and would get 200+ facebook timeline posts on my birthday.
I've become significantly less social since becoming sober, and one of the effects over the years is that my social network has significantly shrunk. I haven't been sent even 20 birthday posts today.
I wish I didn't care, but I honestly do. It's hard sometimes. Feeling lonely <3
@bayandclove Hello bay, welcome to the community! We are delighted to have you here with us. I hope writing the post helped you out; writing can help with managing emotions and overall stress release. I'm sorry to hear you have been experiencing loneliness. It is hard to not let it get to us. You are not alone here! How have you been coping lately?
If you ever wish to chat with someone, the listeners are always here for you. We'd love to hear how you are doing, so feel free to keep us updated whenever. If you have any questions/concerns, let us know. Best wishes! :) *hugs if you are okay with it*
@bayandclove
Happy Birthday!
I sort of know what you mean. I'm trying to figure out somethings. I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or what. But I'm finding out that some of the people I thought were friends really aren't. You say no a few times and wow, the reactions. It's like suddenly there's something wrong with you. It does make you feel alone. It sucks.
@Downside
It's a comfort that you are able to relate to this. Thanks for responding
@bayandclove
You're welcome. Have you been fighting this long? This was my first clean weekend. I slept most of it. Made the time pass quicker. It just really sucks that the people I grew up with, that I thought were friends, well you know. Makes me wonder what's wrong with me, that I don't feel like doing it any more.
I hope that you're feeling a little better.
@Downside
Congratulations on your first week sober. Have you been able to stick with it?
It can really feel like there is something "wrong with us sometimes" - but when I imagine my ideal life, alcohol and drugs are not a part of it. This thought helps me to remember that this is a posiive choice for me, even if there are some really hard things about making it.
I have been sober for 54 days now, and 96 days before that - so yes, a pretty new journey for me too :)
@bayandclove Happy belated birthday. 
I can relate quite a bit and I'm sorry that you're experiencing such lonliness. It's a drastic adjustment to make from having been so social while still drinking/using and finding friends who are supportive to recovery. I've found that it's taken time to build my support system, though it's been incredibly helpful to have people who genuinely care about my well being rather than mostly partying, though there are less of them. The sincerity that comes from the people who genuinely care can be overpowering.
I hope that you were able to enjoy at least part of your birthday. Welcome to the community, it's great to have you here. You definitely aren't alone.
@InternalAcceptance
It's nice to know I am not alone, and helps me to feel like this struggle is a normal part of the journey.
It gives me some hope to remember that I can work on building new relationships that are more suitable for this new phase in my life - and to know that these kind of friendhsips will take time. Support systems aren't built over night.
Thanks very much for your empathic reponse :)
