Riding the Waves, Mindfully surfing through any urge

Changing habits can be challenging. Anyone who has attempted to change their eating habits, or quit smoking or drinking, or stop illicit drug use can probably tell us how challenging it can be to put a stop to these old habits. I myself find myself struggling at times with urges and was reading this helpful article provided by my professional coach. I figured that others here might also have similar struggles and I can share the skill with you all. The technique that I am going to share is called Urge Surfing, and you use it before you slip into having a relapse.

What is Urge Surfing?

Thanks to late psychologist Alan Marlatt, Ph.D., we have Urge Surfing. We can consider the urge to be an impulse to engage in an old habit. This old habit can be drinking or using, and often the urges are experienced as physical sensations in the body. These urges are like waves that rise in intensity, peak, and eventually crash. Urge surfing involves riding these waves.

A brief exercise to do with this technique:

Stop for a moment and think about an urge that you recently experienced.
As you think about this urge, see if you can notice all the sensations that come up as you think about it;
see if you notice how these sensations shift across time.
Use your breath to help you ride out the waves (i.e., the urge);
like a surfboard, you can simply observe your breath as you ride out each wave that arises.
Congratulations! You just successfully surfed your first urge!

Usually, urges peak between 20-30 minutes, if we allow them to. We have to hold an open and curious attitude about our urges and watch it without battling them. The urge will subside. If we battle with our urges (example: I want to get rid of the urge NOW), they take longer to subside. Giving in to urges can make them stronger and decrease our confidence in changing our habits.

How to Surf an Urge?

There are different ways to surf your urges but most of them include the following steps. I will be sharing the information directly from the article for your viewing.

1. Take a few moments to notice where you experience urges in your body. You can do this by taking some time to sit in a quiet place, and if you are comfortable doing so, closing your eyes, and just allowing your attention to go to the place(s) in your body where you tend to feel urges. For some people they notice that urges are most connected to sensations in their abdomens; for others, they notice urges in their mouth (e.g., their mouths water when experiencing an urge to drink). There is no right or wrong place for an urge to be located. What is most important is that you notice where in your body you most notice urges when they show up. If you are having trouble noticing urges, think back to a time when you experienced an urge to engage in an old habit. If you are concerned that thinking about a particular instance when you had an urge will lead to doing the habit, pick a situation where the urge was less strong or you successfully prevented yourself from acting on the urge. Picture the situation as clearly as you can in your imagination. Once the situation is clear in your mind, notice where in your body you are experiencing the urge.

2. Once you have noticed what part of your body is most connected to the urge, focus your attention on it (if you notice that more than 1 area of your body is connected to an urge, start with the place that you most intensely notice the urge). Take note of the sensations you are having in this body part. What do the sensations feel like? Does it feel like pressure, tingling, warmth, or coolness? How much space do these sensations take up in this place in your body? Try to draw an outline around the place where the sensations are felt. See if the sensations have any movement. Some people tend to associate sensations with colors or temperatures. Check to see if you notice any colors or temperature associated with these sensations. For some people, it can be helpful to silently describe the sensations in an objective and non-judgmental manner (e.g., I notice the warmth and tingling in my belly). If more than one part of your body is associated with an urge, go through this exercise with each body part.

3. Bring your attention to your breath. You do not need to change your breathing at all. Notice your breath for the next 1-2 minutes. Some people find it helpful to bring their attention to a particular place in their body where they notice their breath (e.g., the abdomen); some find it helpful to say phrases like “breathe in,” “breathe out” as they inhale and exhale.

4. Gently shift your attention back to the part(s) of your body where you notice the urge. Allow yourself to notice whatever sensations come up in these places. If it becomes overwhelming to notice the sensations, gently return your attention back to breath for a few moments and then go back to noticing the sensations connected to the urge. You may find it helpful to imagine sending your breath to the parts of your body that are associated with the urge (e.g., you can breathe into your shoulders and let your breath fill up that part of your body). Notice if and how the sensations change as you watch them. Be sure to practice this step for at least 1 minute, but longer is probably better.

5. This next step is optional, but I have found it to be helpful in my own life and in working with people with addictions. Imagine that the sensations connected with your urge are a wave. Watch the wave rise and fall over and over again as the intensity of your sensations peaks and subside. Your job is to use your breath as a surfboard to ride these waves. No matter how big the wave gets, no matter how much you feel as if the wave will consume you, you are a skilled surfer and you will use your breath to ride each wave as it comes. Practice this for at least 1 minute, but again, longer is probably better, particularly the first few times you practice this.

6. As you’re riding the wave (or just noticing the sensations), you may find it helpful to silently describe the sensations in an objective and non-judgmental way (e.g., I notice warmth in my belly that is increasing…the warmth in my belly is decreasing and my belly feels cooler).

7. When you are done surfing the urge, take a moment to thank yourself for taking the time and being willing to do something different with your urges. You can also use this time to set your intention for the next few minutes, hour, or day.

With practice, the urge surfing gets easier. You may notice you do a really good job at surfing. Practice this technique by using it whenever you notice yourself having an urge or practice it regularly by setting time in your days to practice the technique. This practice can help you get better at it when you end up needing to use it.

Credit to this article here

Discussion:

Have you ever used Ride the Wave or Urge Surfing before? What was your experience with it?

How might Urge Surfing help you with your current habits/urges?

What might make urge surfing more of a challenge for you? How can we overcome these challenges to surfing as they come?

Tag some friends who you recommend this technique to.

Tagging who I think might be interested:

@PuzichkinCat @xoBeebosBubsxo @Rebecca947 @lovelywhisper66 @SoulSupporter102 @JovailButterfly6752