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tommy profile picture
NEW - Addiction Support Automated Taglist
by tommy
Last post
 January 3rd
...See more Welcome to the NEW Addiction Support Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of Dec 2024 (updated by @tommy) @akshi2611 @BeautifulCurse @exuberantTalker9747 @freeman @Helentreat12 @Hobzz @HopefulMamaof4 @ivoryLime3964 @JasonneedsinTx @Jenna @joyfulUs2825 @kindShade3891 @matchamochi07 @Mhmdi @Oceansky93 @peachLime4859 @PFord79 @Property1094 @Rainboho @Ren1478 @Sahilwj @sensiblePine5487 @SerenelyClean @Snowy00 @tommy @tornwillow @xmoonsie16x0
AnonymousObserver profile picture
A Sex Addict's 12 Step Journey Begins
by AnonymousObserver
Last post
 2 hours ago
...See more I'm Soul (or Anon, either works) and I'm a sex and porn addict, and I recently started my 12 steps and it has not been easy... I'm currently on step 3 of 12 and it's proving to be a challenge. As a kid I lost my faith and felt as if God had abandoned me - and his silence left a would filled with bitterness, resentment and hatred. A week ago, I had a promise fulfilled in what I can only explain as divine intervention. The more I tried to avoid my triggers - they started to find me no matter where I went, so I took it as a sign from God to get help. My assessment is already booked, I have a sponsor and I plan to attend more SAA meetings. I've been having to deal with a crisis on my own, it's been stressful and I'm hoping I'll get a chance to breathe.
scarbstar profile picture
10 Survival Tips For Loving An Addict
by scarbstar
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more Interesting read. What do you all think? 10 Survival Tips For Loving An Addict Courtesy “Candace Plattor, M.A. Registered Clinical Counselor” [http://candaceplattor.com/free-articles/top-10-survival-tips/] 1. Come face-to-face with reality. Learning how to deal with reality is the most important first step in “surviving” when you love an addicted person. Although it may seem easier to stay in the “fantasy space” where you can continue to believe that things are going to magically get better, there is no such magic. Things will not get better just because you wish they would. Coming face-to-face with reality means accepting that parts of your life may be out of control as a result of loving someone who is engaging in addictive behaviors. These addictions can include mind-altering substances such as drugs and alcohol, as well as mood-altering addictions such as eating disorders, compulsive over-spending, smoking, being “glued” to the internet, gambling or codependency in relationships. You may be feeling a constant, gnawing worry that you live with every day. You may find yourself being asked for money often, and feeling guilty if you say no. Perhaps you are watching everything you say and do, in order to “keep peace” in your home and not make the addict angry. Or you may be asked to do favors for the addict on a consistent basis, such as watching their children or doing their errands, and you may not know how to say no. Whatever your particular situation is, acceptance of what you are dealing with in your life is the first survival tip for loving an addicted person. 2. Discover how to love an addicted person — and stay healthy. There are effective ways to deal with the addicted person in your life, just as there are ways that are not only ineffective but can also be dangerous. Learning to distinguish between them can save you a lot of time and can also produce much healthier results for you and your addicted loved one. For example, learning how to set and maintain appropriate boundaries is a very important skill. You may need to explore the reasons why you have a problem doing that, and then learn some assertiveness techniques that will help you say “yes” when you mean yes, and “no” when you mean no. Another way to keep yourself healthy while caring about an addicted person is to make sure you are looking after your own life and keeping a good balance with such things as work or volunteering, supportive friendships, fitness and good nutrition, and time for the fun activities that you enjoy. Choose to practice the healthier ways of loving your addicted person. 3. You cannot control or “fix” another person, so stop trying! The only person you have any control over is yourself. You do not have control over anything the addicted person does. Many people choose not to believe this, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Once you can really grasp the reality of this concept and live by it, your life will become much easier. The Serenity Prayer can give you a helpful gauge to see whether you are trying to control people and situations that you simply cannot control. God, Grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. Cultivate your wisdom, so that you know the difference between what you can and can’t change, and stop trying to control or “fix” anyone other than yourself. 4. Stop blaming the other person and become willing to look at yourself. As easy and tempting as it may be for you to blame the addict in your life for your struggles and suffering, there is actually more value in exploring what you may be contributing to this situation, since that is the only thing you can really do anything about. Even though the addict has undoubtedly contributed his or her share of the trouble, in some way you also have a part to play in what is going on. For example, you might be keeping the “drama” going by lending money to your addicted loved one. Or perhaps you are always willing to be there to listen when they tell you all about the problems they are encountering as consequences of their addictive behaviors. These kinds of actions on your part will not help your loved one in the long run. It is your responsibility to recognize and “own” your unhelpful behaviors, and to get professional help in doing this if necessary. Understanding why you choose to behave in unhealthy ways is the key to making a change. Become courageous enough to be willing to look at yourself. 5. Learn the difference between “helping” and “enabling.” Just like most people, you might think that you need to help your addicted loved one. You probably fear that if you don’t provide help, he or she will end up in a worse predicament. When you try to “help” addicts by giving them money, allowing them to stay in your home, buying food for them on a regular basis, driving them places or going back on the healthy boundaries you have already set with them, you are actually engaging in “rescuing” behaviors that are not really helpful. Another term for this kind of unhealthy helping is “enabling.” When you can be as truthful as possible with yourself about your own enabling behaviors, you can begin to make different choices. This will lead to healthier changes in your addicted loved one as well. For example, you might decide to tell the addict in your life that you will no longer listen to them complain about their lives. However, you can let them know that you are very willing to be there for them as soon as they are ready to work on resolving their problems. Once you stop your enabling behaviors, you can then begin to truly help your loved one. 6. Don’t give in to manipulation. It has been said that the least favorite word for an addict to hear is “No.” When addicts are not ready to change, they become master manipulators in order to keep the addiction going. Their fear of stopping is so great that they will do just about anything to keep from having to be honest with themselves. Some of these manipulations include lying, cheating, blaming, raging and guilt-tripping others, as well as becoming depressed or developing other kinds of emotional or physical illnesses. The more you allow yourself to be manipulated by the addict, the more manipulative the addict is likely to become. When you hold your ground and refuse to give into their unreasonable demands, they will eventually realize that they are not going to get their way. Saying “no” is an important first step toward change — for you, as well as for the addict. 7. Ask yourself the “Magic Question.” It is important to understand that you might be just as “addicted” to your enabling behaviors as the addict in your life is to his or her manipulations. In the same way that addicts use drugs, alcohol and other addictive behaviors to avoid dealing with their shame about feeling unworthy and unlovable, you may be focusing on the addict’s behavior in order to avoid having to focus on living your own life. Your enabling behaviors toward the addict may be helping to keep you busy and to fill up your life so that you don’t have to see how lonely and empty you are feeling inside. Ask yourself the question “How would my life be better if I wasn’t consumed by behaviors that enable my loved one?” Allow yourself to answer honestly, and be aware of any feelings that come up. Although it may be scary to think about giving up behaviors that have formed your “comfort zone,” it may be even more scary for you to think about continuing them. 8. Know that “Self-care” does not equal “selfish.” Too many people get these two ideas confused: they think that if they practice healthy self-care and put themselves first, they are being selfish. “Selfishness” basically means that you want what you want when you want it, and you are willing to step on whomever you have to in order to get it. That actually sounds more like the behavior of the addict. If you try to take care of someone else before taking care of yourself, you will simply become depleted and exhausted. “Self-caring” means that you respect yourself enough to take good care of yourself in healthy and holistic ways such as making sure your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs are met. As an adult, it is your job to determine what your needs are, and you are the only one responsible for meeting them. 9. Rebuild your own life. The best way to come out of your own “addictive behaviors,” such as enabling and people-pleasing, is to focus on your own life. If your life seems empty in any areas such as career, relationships or self-care, begin to rebuild your life by exploring the kinds of things that might fulfill you. Would you like to make a career change or go back to school? Perhaps you would like to develop different hobbies or activities that would help you meet new people. Rebuilding your life so that you feel a greater sense of happiness and self-fulfillment is your most important over-all responsibility. Enjoy! 10. Don’t wait until the situation is really bad ~ reach out for help NOW!! When those who love people with any type of addictive behavior finally reach out for help, they have usually been dealing with their situation for a long time. If you have been waiting to see whether things would get better without professional help, please consider getting help NOW, before things become even worse. If this situation is just beginning for you, it is best to get some support as soon as possible, so that you don’t make the mistakes that could make things more difficult
RaeBaeIscrazy08 profile picture
Vent :
by RaeBaeIscrazy08
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more What made you realize that your addiction was destroying you.
scarbstar profile picture
Tips to manage cravings.
by scarbstar
Last post
 Friday
...See more 1. Know that cravings will pass. First, understand that while these urges are strong, they will pass, typically in about 5-30 minutes.  Many addiction specialists urge people to ‘surf the urge’ and accept that these urges will come in waves and take the necessary steps to ward them off. 2. Identify your goals and keep them on hand. Make a list of all the reasons you quit and all the potential negative outcomes that could happen to you if you start using again.  Keep this list handy at all times to remind yourself of your ultimate goal. 3. Be consistent in treatment and therapy. Cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) is a commonly used form of psychological treatment for addiction recovery. CBT utilizes techniques to help redirect your focus away from the cravings.   “Counseling, sponsors, group therapy and individual therapy are all key components to help patients stay on track,” adds Dr. Juneja. “It’s important to have trusted sources you can call on when you’re battling thoughts that can hurt your chances of recovery.”  4. Explore new passions. Find other ways to distract your mind, especially when you need to fill some down time. Take up a hobby like:  Sports Cooking Reading Drawing or painting  Dancing Hiking Photography Fishing Puzzles Video games (be mindful that video games and social media can have addictive qualities) Listen to soothing music Meditation (or other meditative practices, i.e. float therapy) Yoga 5. Exercise regularly. It is crucial to get as much exercise as you can, this will stimulate your mind and body, and create routines and structure in your week that help stay on track. Regular aerobic exercise and eating a healthy diet play a large role in helping fight addiction through self-care.  6. Practice meditation and breathing techniques. Throughout the recovery process, it is important to reduce stress, anxiety and encourage a sense of emotional balance. One of the best ways of doing this is practicing simple relaxation techniques to focus on your breathing, taking deep breaths when you are feeling any urges. Meditation also is a wonderful way to feel refreshed and invigorated any time of the day. 7. Identify a trusted support system. Another very helpful tool on the road to successful and long-term recovery is to maintain safe, emotionally supportive relationships. The individuals you are connected to often can play a key role in helping you through any crisis.   Whether it is a friend, family member, co-worker or neighbor, share your concerns with them and let them help support you through your recovery journey. It is important to remember that it often takes many attempts at recovery to achieve success, and managing cravings with coping skills is a foundation of success.  
Yaboykel profile picture
Thoughts and actions
by Yaboykel
Last post
 Thursday
...See more I’ve been having problems with my addiction since I was a child. I never knew how to really tell anybody because I always thought that there was something wrong with me or with it, but maybe I’m overthinking. Maybe this is something that every man goes through. Maybe this is a thought that every man has. I feel as if it’s OK to sometimes have dark thoughts, but learning to control my actions and not to act on every thought is the problem I’m having
scarbstar profile picture
Three Main Ways to Practice Self-Care in Recovery
by scarbstar
Last post
 Thursday
...See more Take Care of Your Body One way to take care of your body is to remain mindful daily. Be aware of what is going on with your body. That includes what you’re eating and drinking and how restful you slept the night before. Another way to take care of your body is to be responsive to its needs. Hunger is a need. Thirst is a need. If you’re hurt, medical attention is a need. Your responsiveness to these needs is important. Delaying them or depriving yourself of them is a sign of poor self-care. Take Care of Your Mind An important first step in taking care of your mind in recovery is making sure you get a proper diagnosis during treatment for a substance use disorder. Dual diagnosis treatment can be a significant factor in helping someone understand what underlying condition has affected their drinking or drug use. Once aware of it, they can learn how to create healthy behaviors as a replacement to the self-destructive coping mechanisms of substance misuse. Take Care of Your Spirit Spiritual self-care is just as important as the first two categories. Taking care of your spirit is a part of the recovery journey that needs daily practice. It can come as early as the beginning of a treatment program, and it’s something you can learn to sustain on your own. Learning to reach this part of yourself through daily activities strengthens your recovery work. It’s part of building a foundation of personal growth that can sustain you through challenging times and setbacks to your sobriety. The activities can be something you do solo or within a group.
fallenones profile picture
Hey
by fallenones
Last post
 Thursday
...See more 14 yrs old i haven't been doing well in my studies and i have test on Saturday my relationship with my parents is so fcked up i have been sucidal for the last 2 yrs i am addicted to substance abuse and $H a'd porn I am fat ash i look hella ugly i think i am going to fail my exams because i never
MentalyUnstableFrog profile picture
Urge to relapse
by MentalyUnstableFrog
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I feel like it's gotten harder lately to stay sober from drugs since it's almost one year sober aka the last time I was used and broken up with. The memories just keep flooding back and I just wanna feel numb and tingly again.
kindShell9449 profile picture
Addiction.
by kindShell9449
Last post
 Tuesday
...See more Could you share with me what was the “ah-ha moment” for you during your addiction that made you want to start your journey to recovery? Thank you in advance for sharing your experience.
Stitch626Experiment626 profile picture
Opioid Addict of 10+ yrs Needing Hope/Support
by Stitch626Experiment626
Last post
 January 14th
...See more Hi everyone, I'm not sure where to start. I guess I'm looking for some hope from people? For some support? I fear that I'm never going to find serenity or recovery. My mental health and depression are really bad right now and have been for quite some time. My depression has been at an all time high and my addiction at an all time low. I'm definitely struggling and things have been getting worse for me over the last two months. I had to quit my job back in mid November due to my mental health conditions and my addiction state. I've struggled with addiction since I was a teenager and have been in and out of 3 residential rehabs over the years, the last one in about 2019 I believe. My addiction would fluctuate back and forth between controlled/functioning and severe from then to now. I had a month clean back in say May(?) of last year, then I got a few spots from my dealer and the rest was history for me. Before I knew it I was back to having to use near daily again or else I'd enter extreme withdrawal. A week and a half ago, I checked myself into detox because I was stuck in that cycle where I had to use nearly every day simply to keep myself out of withdrawal. I truly wasn't even using anymore because I wanted to, it was because I had to. If I didn't I would get so sick it truly felt like death by day three. This was taking a substantial burden on my health, body, finances, and relationship. So I decided to go to detox so I could gain control over my addiction again, I knew I wasn't done using but I was ready to make changes to the frequency of my use. I had to. My journey began by initiating this process by going to the hospital ER first (as recommended by detox staff) for assistance. I was discharged to detox, and a few days into it, I began to experience the most horrid abdominal pains that would bring me back to the hospital ER again two more times. (They did little for me really the first time, just bloodwork and maintenence medications then discharge, no imaging/diagnostics) (Total ER=3x) They never did find anything significant in terms of the reason behind my abdominal pain, so they just chalked this off as part of my withdrawal symptoms. In the second visit they did however discover that I had pneomonia in my left lung upon doing a CT scan. Lucky me. Upon discharge from the detox centre, my stupid *** went and picked up, having been white knuckling cravings for that last week. My doc is smoking fentanyl. Now I wasn't even thinking that I would be a) breathing compromised from the pneomonia and  b) that my tolerance level would have dropped in this last week I had spent clean. I figured it took a lot more time than that for your tolerance level to drop. I picked up from my guy, used a small amount in a public bathroom, then went home. Upon being home, I continued to use the same amount as I would have used before detox.... a big no no. (And I should have known this!) I'll mention now that in my 10+ years of using fentanyl, I've never overdosed. I've always been VERY careful about WHO I got it from and HOW I went about using it. But I've never been naiive enough to think that an OD couldn't happen to me, so I kept narcan kits in the house just in case. Well, thank God I did.  I came home that night and used, and I went under. Thank God my girlfriend was home to save me. She came out from the washroom and found me unresponsive, blue and purple, not breathing and with no pulse. I also started to vomit. And aspirate. (How great for my lungs!) She immediately called 911, put me down, started cpr, and narcanned me. After a good amount of cpr she finally got my breath back. Paramedics, fire, and police all arrived and took over my care shortly after. Now I, have zero memory of taking the hit, going down, being down or even getting up - not until I was halfway through packing my bag for having to go back to the hospital (total ER visits in a week now = 4). And idk if I went back under or what, because I remember being rolled out of my building on the stretcher and onto the sidewalk, then nothing until I woke up in the hospital again. The memory gaps scare me...  I feel this tremendous horrible guilt about the burden I've now placed on my girlfriend though, to have to carry this memory and we have to carry it alone too, as there is no one we can talk to in our personal life about me even having an addiction, nevermind overdosing... no one who wouldn't judge harshly. It's a lot for them to have to deal with. It was always their worst fear, and I made it come true. I also feel a lot of gratitude though. That I was home when this happened, that it didn't happen to me in the washroom while I was out. That my girlfriend didn't panic and is trained in cpr and knew exactly what to do. And that whatever God is out there wasn't finished with me yet.  The following morning I was discharged from the hospital but had a follow up doctors appointment with my general practitioner in the afternoon to check my pneomonia. I went to this appointment and had horrible vitals. My 02 levels had dropped to 82 and my heart rate was 133. My doctor whom was concerned for hypoxia, insisted I return to the hospital... so away I went again, now to be ER visits #5. They actually admitted me this time and I remained in the hospital for two more days being treated for the pneomonia and remaining withdrawal. I'll add that during my hospital visits they had started me on oral suboxone and were trying to reach my stabilization dose of this medication. The idea of sublocade was introduced, discussed, and agreed upon. I received the sublocade shot before discharge. Now I'll say that I've always wished I could just magically snap my fingers and make my addiction go away. I've expressed it countless times to my girlfriend in our arugments over my addiction, as I would try to explain how I have a disease and just can't snap out of it no matter how hard I tried. I think I finally got my wish? The sublocade shot has effectively blocked the opioid receptors on my brain - it seems that I can't get a high from using now, as I pathetically tried upon discharge from the hospital. Now the stuff I was using was pretty weak, so there's that little voice in the back of my head that's going "but what if I pick up the better/stronger fentanyl from my other guy instead? Will I get high then?" Oh when, when does the madness end????? But something has changed in me.... Instead of these intense pressure cravings to use that have always been existent and oh so persisting, my brain now goes/asks - "but what's the point in trying?" A rebuttal? How odd. Normally I just give in to those urges and then my mind is made up that I'm using. I had the opportunity to go out today and meet said guy with stronger product if I wanted, but I didn't. I just couldn't be bothered...?? I even went as far as to throw away what remainded of the weak ***! (And I Never! Ever? Threw away drugs before!) but I didn't see the point in keeping it. It wasn't doing anything for me but hurting my body. So now I've done this complete 180 turn from myself, my thoughts, and my cravings. I hate that a part of me still wants (needs?) To test the theory about whether or not the stronger *** will hit my receptors though. I feel like this wondering is going to drive me mental until I know for sure. I'm hoping I can continue to question the point of doing so though. I'm hoping, praying, that I can just say to myself that it probably won't work and there's no point in trying and to just not go down that road. I don't know how far I can get this momentum to go though... but I have to at least try, right? Now I should be feeling a big sense of relief, right? Gratitude too? I finally got what I always wanted, no? To rid myself of my intense cravings, to be free from the chains of addiction once and for all. Yet I'm still numb to it all. I guess it doesn't even feel real that I'm fighting urges and not experiencing them as strongly. I'm still struggling to process what's happening and has happened too. I think I can feel a sense of relief down there somewhere though. But also a lot of remorse. Like I now need to mourn my addiction like the loss of a loved one/dear friend. Our times together weren't all bad, that's for sure. There was plenty of good. And I'm now leaving behind my biggest aid/coping skill/reward system that I've known and ever had. Drugs helped me feel better mentally and emotionally at a young age, and they also gave me a sense of belonging/connection to others that I didn't have prior. Saying goodbye to my addiction is going to be hard... but it should feel good, right? That's just my problem though. I'm not -feeling- much of anything. Emptiness and fear above all else.  I know for sure though that I've been feeling more connected to my higher power and spirituality since being brought back from the dead.. yet everything is such a tangled mess within me still. I don't know what to make of any of it all.  Thank you to anyone who reads this. 
amicableox0685 profile picture
Welcoming 3 weeks of no setbacks
by amicableox0685
Last post
 January 13th
...See more W00t w00t.
emotionalOcean1985 profile picture
Self sabotaging addict
by emotionalOcean1985
Last post
 January 13th
...See more Hey there im really hoping someone can help me as im so fed up of this road im stuck on. I know I HAVE the power to change but it’s like I cant or subconsciously just don’t want to and it’s like i want to destroy my life and lose everything. But I know deep down i dont and that i want to change. I just don’t know how to this time. I’ve quit before but this time it is sooooo hard. I know I can change my ways so why am I not? It’s like I’m not trying and I’ve spent so long resenting myself now that I think I genuinely believe I’m just worthless. please help me find the right tools to guide me back to the light and out of this darkness. I’ve watched so much on YouTube and nothing is sinking in.

Addiction Support

Please note: bolded grey text is hyperlinked.

Welcome to Addiction Support! We are so pleased that you have stumbled across our little corner of the internet. Our community is here to support you through any recovery and/or pathway from substances to gambling, internet, self-harm, porn addiction, sex addiction, and more. All are welcome to participate whether you are a family member watching a loved one struggling or if you are struggling yourself. Feel free to discuss anything and everything related to addictions.


What are the different forum topics for Addiction Support?

Community Space: A place for you to introduce yourself and take part in our community check-ins.

Games and Icebreakers: A place for you to get to know other community members by participating in fun games!

General Addiction Support: Do you have a question or want to share more about your addiction? Do it here!

Journals: Want to share your story or involve us on your journey to recovery? Do it here!

Loving Those With Addictions: Got a loved one with an addiction? Share your story here!

Sex and Porn Addiction Support: Struggling with a sex and/or porn addiction? Discuss it here!


How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable to). Alternatively, you may wish to join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.


Helpful Threads

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Addiction Support FAQ

Are there any sub-community specific guidelines that we need to adhere to?

All sub-community specific guidelines can be found below and should be followed in addition to the general forum guidelines.


Help... I still have a question! 

You can ask your questions in this thread and someone will respond to you as soon as possible.

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