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PTSD & Self-Care

KristenHR February 22nd, 2015

Trauma survivors who develop Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) find themselves feeling a wide range of emotions. Some common expressions I?ve heard verbalized at times are ?I?m going crazy.? ?I can?t make it all stop.? ?It?s never going to end.? The truth is, it does feel very crazy and confusing, and it does feel like it?s never going to end, but survivors experiencing these symptoms are NOT crazy and as the symptoms are learned to be dealt with and the trauma is dealt with, the symptoms will get better and for many they may even subside to the point where they rarely occur.

Let?s look at the classic symptoms of PTSD, because they seem to be the biggest problems for many survivors. The National Center for PTSD reports four types of symptoms that occur that are not due to medication, substance abuse or other illness.

1. Reliving/re-experiencing the event. This may include nightmares, flashbacks, or triggers that are commonly caused by sight, smell or something heard or brought on by another sense, with intense or prolonged distress after remembering.

2. Avoidance of situations that remind the survivor of the event. This may include avoiding people, places and things, as well as talking about the event. This impacts many times the fear that leads survivors to resist getting help because there is a fear of talking about the trauma.

3. Negative changes in beliefs and feelings. A survivor may feel or think the world is now dangerous and no one can be trusted. There may be an avoidance of relationships, and even forgetting parts of the trauma (dissociation). There may be distorted blame of self for the trauma or resulting consequences, feeling alienated, and/or persistent inability to experience positive emotions.

4. Hyperarousal (Feeling worked up). This may include survivors having difficulty sleeping, being easily startled by noises or movements, being careful to always sit or stand with their back toward a wall, difficulty concentrating, being angry, irritable, and/or beginning or worsening of self-destructive or reckless behavior(s).

So this begs the question, what do we as survivors do? This feels totally overwhelming and sounds very hopeless! I?m glad you asked, because there are many things we can do as survivors.

Here are some things I've learned along my travels personally and working with other survivors.

First, as frightening as it may be, seek professional help as soon as possible. Avoidance may already make it our natural response to avoid sharing what happened with anyone, but we need to ask someone for help ? someone who has the skills to help us. The longer we go without help in dealing with the trauma, the longer we are likely to experience the negative symptoms of the problems from the trauma such as the PTSD.

Seek out your support system ? these may be individuals who know about your trauma to some extent, but you do not have to talk to them about the trauma every time. Just have them available to go to lunch or to a movie with on a bad day.

Download the Flashbacks: Coping ? Here and Now .wav file to help you to briefly walk through some of the things you can do when having a flashback that have helped many survivors. You may need to pause it as you go to allow time to do the various activities on the recording.

Use relaxation such as: Deep Breathing, Muscle Relaxation. Meditation/Prayer, Quiet Music, and/or Stretching

Find Positive Activities

Practice the Positive Coping Skills you have daily when you aren?t having flashbacks and nightmares so that when you are having difficulties, you are better equipped to utilize them and remember them when going through these times.

Find projects to utilize your time and distract your energy from you. Volunteering in person or online is a great avenue to do this, as it also increases your feelings about your self-worth and being needed.

Use some Grounding Exercises when necessary.

Keep a small container of play-doh available to smell and manipulate

Pray

Remind yourself this will pass?it?s a memory

Replace negative statements that you identify with some positive ones

Smell perfume or a candle or another scented object

Snuggle a stuffed animal

Suck on a piece of hard candy

Take a shower (hot or cold)

Try to move your arms and legs instead of staying dissociated and stuck

Use positive affirmations

For more grounding techniques see Grounding When Triggered ? Things to Do.

Try not to blame yourself for the things you did or did not do to survive. You did what you had to do. Sometimes people may have told you that had you done x, y, or z, that things would have been different, but you did what you knew to do. Trauma happened in an instant. The brain reacted ? flight, fight or freeze. We don?t get a choice. The brain decides for us. Doing one action could get us killed, so our brain instantly decides what is in our best interest. Be gentle with you as you look at blame, and place it where it belongs ? squarely on the shoulders of the one who perpetrated it if yours was a trauma of crime. If if was an accident, then perhaps there was no one to blame. It was what it was.

No matter what you are going through right now, you are not alone. PTSD is a struggle that many survivors face, and it?s important that we gather together to join in and support each other in self-care and encouragement. While one thing might not work for me, that thing might work for you. Or what works for me, might not work for you. Sometimes even, what works for us one day, might not work the next day. So it can be there and added to our coping list, but it might be something we use sometimes rather than regularly.

Hold on. You can get through this. While it?s a rough road of recovery, it gets easier with practice each day. Don?t give up on yourself. PM listeners who specialize in trauma recovery if you need to talk to someone 1:1. You can do this ? you?re not crazy, and feelings through all of this can be pretty overwhelming at time. Just hold on and seek out the held you can find ? support here, your support system offline, and your professionals.

To Browse Listeners in the Traumatic Experiences area, you can select the category Traumatic Experiences and search then and a list of listeners will come up.

As a survivor myself, I've found many of these activities helpful and used them a lot. Not everyone worked for me every time. But I still practiced as many as I could when I could because I needed all the help I could get. Don't give up on you - you are worth this fight for wholeness and healing. You can do it too... I'll never forget what was done to me, but I will never feel the pain like I did before either. Reach out - reach up... hold on! You can do this! I believe in you!

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AutumnOsborne102497 February 22nd, 2015

This is what I have been looking for thanks 😄

1 reply
KristenHR OP February 24th, 2015

I hope it helps!

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mistpete75 February 22nd, 2015

Looking up some of this stuff. When it comes to PTSD, knowledge is definitely power. Don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it. I've learned that you don't do yourself any good otherwise.

1 reply
KristenHR OP February 24th, 2015

I so agree with you. I couldn't have said it better. :)

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philosophicalCat2438 February 24th, 2015

Thank you for this. I will be sure to read it. I've been lately feeling like I can't cope with what I've been through (history of witnessing domestic violence and being verbally abused), and with PTSD, it's just really tough.

1 reply
KristenHR OP February 24th, 2015

I hope some of it will help. And if you ever need a listening ear, don't hesitate to message or let another listener know you need to chat. I'd sure be happy to chat with you.

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Brokemind February 24th, 2015

I have PTSD and it is ruining and controlling my life, everyday I jump at sudden noises, I can't stand the smell of certain things and I avoid going out as much as possible because I find the world so frightening . I'm supposed to be joining a survivors group this week but I know if I do manage to get there I will only sit in silence waiting for the clock to signal the end of the group so I can come home where it's safe,

I hate living like this,

3 replies
philosophicalCat2438 February 24th, 2015

I jump at sudden noises too. I awake from nightmares all the time. I get triggered when someone yells at me, raises their voice even a little, even if their body language is bitter. I get extremely anxious, and really just want to run away and cry. I'm sorry for what you've been through. But kudos to going to a support group. I'm not at that stage yet, and don't know if I'll ever be.

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Brokemind February 24th, 2015

I've been refered there by the psych, I don't want to go but she has made the appointment and I feel like I can't let the woman down, I just don't think it will be worth it because I can't just sit there in a group of strangers and tell them my story, I've never told anyone all of it in my 44 years on this earth and I don't think I can do it now. I also feel like running away and crying quite a lot, or I feel like I wanna shrink down and be swept up onto someone's lap and hugged until the extreme emotions pass, most of the time Ia 6 yr old in an adults body,

1 reply
KristenHR OP February 24th, 2015

Maybe just being there and seeing that you're not the only one experiencing these things might help a bit. Not that you won't still feel anxious and stressed out, but that connection with other members. I do hope it will be a good experience for you in spite of the stress of it.

Another thought that comes to mind is that sometimes there are online support groups. Having another supportive option can be beneficial in coping and educating ourselves and not feeling quite so alone.

I wish you well. You can message if you need to. I can't take away the symptoms, but I can listen and be a support.

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Lissado February 24th, 2015

I have PTSD from when I was sexually assaulted last year...

1 reply
KristenHR OP February 24th, 2015

I'm so sorry for your experience. I'm so glad you were brave enough to post and share that you are having these struggles too. Please continue to share as you are comfortable. If you need more one on one support, there are listeners available, or you can message me as well. It's rough to go through, but you don't have to go it alone.

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Ladyavalon April 28th, 2021

@KristenHR Thank you for expressing everything so clearly and concisely..and being generous in sharing your knowledge, that takes a lot of bravery..but we have survived which makes each and everyone of us courageous and brave.

Many thanks and all the best on your continuing journey.

RedRose227 May 1st, 2021

Coping skills are important. This was a very helpful message. Thank you for sharing

Perspectivesmiles1106 August 25th, 2021

Yes i two felt all the emotions mentioned. Doubt am i going crazy, i deserved this , will i ever get through this. Why is this so hard.
the best thing i can say is counselling is a life saviour . You learn sooo much.
you learn to forgive yourself
you learn your feelings are valid and normal
you learn your a survivior not just a victim.
your not broken beyond repair.
possitive affimations also help
hobbies to get through tough times
friends to love and support you.
family.
other surviviors.
kids to make you smile and laugh and just be kids.
im by no means perfect but this is what has and continues to help get me though.
rome wasnt built in a day so baby steps one day at a time.



@KristenHR

Perspectivesmiles1106 August 25th, 2021

Thank u so much for posting this

@KristenHR
MarinaLecubet November 6th, 2021

@KristenHR

I agree I think the victim blaming themselves because they can't understand why or how this happened to them. So they look for places to blame, they often blame themselves with "it was what I was wearing or I was drunk" such as in rape when that had nothing to do with it. Or they can altogether avoid the situation to not remember the incident Being in that position, I can easily say that avoiding a situation because you won't remember the incident is worth the while.

It's the worst thing to get over because youjust want to forget it happened so ou keep looking for a reason, when none exists,