Willing To Make Amends (My Friendship Breakup Pt. 2)

Hi, Oak here again. After several weeks of my ongoing recovery, I've been considering in my mind on wanting to make amends to my former best friend about the incident that I’ve caused from my crisis which occurred back in the very beginning of March.

You can click/tap here to see the previous thread which explains how it all went down. But to summarize it as brief as possible, I had a mental and suicidal crisis on that day, and I also lashed out at 2 people I loved the most, one of them being my best friend. They didn't say anything but rather unfriended, unfollowed or even blocked me everywhere on social media and online games. This already happened over a month ago, and I've been grieving over this loss and have been going through recovery since then.

I’m not sure how I’ll get to reach out to them, since they cut me off everywhere, but it’s something I want to do before I can move on to better things. In other words, I’m seeking closure.

I’m not going to ask for our friendship to be renewed (considering that their actions in response to the incident has deeply traumatized me), but rather admit my mistake of what I did previously and hopefully seek their forgiveness. I’ll understand and accept the outcome either way, as I’ve learned and accepted how I can’t control or change what has already happened.

I have been very grateful to have received a lot of support from my crisis counselors, my support groups, as well as several users and new friends I've met here in 7cups and other support communities during the past several weeks of my recovery journey. I've been doing a lot of writing lately, like creating posts such as this and reflecting on my experiences, as well as writing on my prayer journal as a way to reconnect with my old faith as well as seeking guidance. I even recently wrote my monthly reflection if you also want more details of my recovery journey so far.

My life has changed a lot since then, and my road to recovery has been progressing well. It's been a slow but steady pace. I'm also making plans to seek some online therapy this year with help from my mother since I can't afford a regular session. I know for a fact now, that I’m not alone, and that God is still watching over me.

So this has just been on my mind at the time of writing this thread, and I figured it'd be the right thing to do, at least for me, as I'm now in the process of moving on and accepting this change.

Any amount of support/ comment is appreciated, thanks. 💙

- compassionateOak202