Codependency: Signs, Causes, and Help
"Codependency, also known as relationship addiction, takes place when one person believes it's their job to “save” another person by attending to all of their needs. A codependent person builds their identity around this purpose and takes on a self-sacrificial role in the relationship.
Signs of codependency
- Lack of satisfaction or purpose in life outside of the relationship.
- Tendency to endure a partner's harmful behavior.
- Idealization of partner.
- Enabling partner's poor choices and behavior.
- Controlling behavior.
- Guilt when not attending to your partner's needs and wants.
- Unwillingness to state needs, desires, and moral stances due to fear of conflict.
- Taking on undue blame.
- Taking on too much responsibility.
- Preoccupation with the other person’s thoughts or feelings
Causes of codependency
Relationship addiction can often be traced back to past experiences. Past family dynamics have a lasting effect on all of us, even if those effects go unnoticed. Similarly, the relationship you had with your parent or caregiver during infancy can also influence your behavior as an adult. Your present-day sense of self—the way in which you view yourself in relation to others—is another factor that may contribute to codependency.
Changing unhealthy behavior in a codependent relationship
It's possible to adjust this dynamic by changing your codependent behavior. The road to a more independent lifestyle involves:
- Knowing the difference between controlling and supporting your partner.
- Separating your interests and goals from those of your partner.
- Focusing on and asserting your needs.
- Identifying and challenging negative thoughts.
- Building your self-esteem.
You might find that one or a combination of these strategies works best for you. Remember to be patient with yourself, as change often takes time."
Read the full article on Help Guide
✨Takeaway: Codependency is a harmful dynamic in which one person builds their identity around saving another person by attending to all their needs. It can result in frustration, resentment, stress, and loss of self-worth for the codependent person.
✨Reflection: Have you ever been in a codependent relationship?
#Relationship #Friendship #Codependency #Codependent
@innateJoy9602
Great topic-- a super beneficial read for those who may need it. Self-awareness is the root of true healing and change. ♡
Commenting to boost this post. ^-^
@innateJoy9602
Great topic, thanks for laying it out so well, Joy.
Just like being in a toxic relationship, the abused partner may even gain enough strength through their own recovery to provide considerable incentives to the abuser to try modifying their negative pattern of behavior, either on their own, through third party or group help once they come to realize how they just keep on limiting their own positive potential to a better and more fulfilling life all around, creating a better state of mental health to be enjoyed by both parties in the long run ...
@Franto
Hiya friend!
Indeed! I think you highlight the ability for healing in even the most challenging situations.
- Where both parties have the potential to work towards growth together! (:💜
@innateJoy9602
Exactly ... I'm always impressed when people start to see the light of the upside potential after working on solving a basic issue ... it can give them an enormous uplift emotionally and more confidence to invest in their intellectual development with patience, care and a growing understanding of the larger picture we are all a part of, requiring each others contribution to advance our social, political & economic insights into which changes are high on the list to be made sooner than later ...
I like trying to paint pictures of evolutionary psychology and revolutionary social change using words we can better understand and empower our minds to grasp that intellectual gratification is a much better way to grow out of a manipulative, consumption driven mindless social dead end culture we are asked to settle for with no alternatives in sight ... ahahahah :)
