Dependent Personality Disorder Awareness - What Is It, and How Can I Help?

Dependent Personality Disorder Awareness

Personality disorders are among some of the most common disorders in the western world, however, many people still dont know of they exist. In the US, around 14.79% of adults will suffer from a personality disorder at some point in their life[1]. To put this percentage into perspective, if you were in a room full of 20 American Adults, around 3 people would have been affected by a personality disorder. Thats a lot.

In this post, I will be discussing specifically Dependent Personality Disorder, but first:

What is a Personality Disorder?

A personality disorder is when a person has a very inflexible and unhealthy pattern of thinking, operating, and acting. This pattern causes people with personality disorders to struggle with relating to and understanding others. Personality disorders usually surface during ones teenage years or in early adulthood. There are 3 clusters of personality disorders (Cluster A, Cluster B, and Cluster C), of which the 10 types of personality disorders fall under:

Cluster A - Strange and unconventional ways of thinking or behaving

Cluster B - Unpredictable and theatrical ways of thinking or behaving

Cluster C - Nervous and fearful ways of thinking or behaving

Dependent personality disorder falls under Cluster C of personality disorders[2].

What is Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD)?

Dependent Personality Disorder is when someone is overly dependant on others to meet both their physical and emotional needs. It is among one of the most prevalent personality disorders and is equally found in both sexes[3]. The causes of DPD are not known, however, risk factors include a family history of personality disorders or mental health issues, unstable childhood, variations in brain make-up, and prior diagnosis of a child conduct disorder[2].

Characteristics include:

- Being overly upset over loss or separation

- Going to excessive lengths to stay in relationships, even when the relationship may be abusive

- Distrust towards ones skills to make decisions[3]

- Fear of being abandoned to fend or care for oneself

- Low confidence (in need of constant reassurance and advise, even to make minor decisions) (May struggle to start or finish work as a result)

- Submissiveness or clinginess and fear of disapproval

- Endurance of inferior or abusive treatment, even when there are alternatives

- Burning need to get into a new relationship when one has just ended[2]

Symptoms include:

- Refraining from personal responsibility and being alone

- Quickly hurt by objection and criticism

- Overly stuck on fears of being left alone by others

- Becoming compliant in relations

- Feeling overly distressed when a relationship ends

- Problems explaining disputes with others

- Having a hard time making decisions without input from someone else[3]

If you suspect you may have DPD, it is important that you reach out to a mental healthcare professional. If you suspect someone you know may have DPD, speak with the person about it and encourage them to seek help.

Treatment

Talk therapy is known to be the most effective treatment for DPD. Medication can also help with the management of the symptoms of this disorder (such as for anxiety or depression). The method of treatment will vary from person to person depending on the symptoms and expression of your disorder[4].

Ways You Can Help Someone with DPD

First and foremost, you can help someone with DPD by assisting them with getting in contact with a professional. If the person with DPD is someone you live with and who is dependent on you, the following can be looked in to:

What things are they dependent on me for? - It is important to identify which things the person is dependent on you for, as these are often areas of codependency for someone with DPD. Hinting to them things that need to get done can be an effective strategy in getting them to become more independent and self-reliant

Making a Safe Space - Since people with DPD often fear criticism and disapproval and have distrust in themselves to make decisions, it is important to make them feel as if it okay to speak their mind. While someone with DPD is expressing their feelings, it is important to be mindful of your body language and to be non-suggestive or advising, as they may begin to doubt themselves. Allow them to formulate their own decisions through the use of active listening skills. Remember, its not so much about them coming up with a decision, but allowing them to express themselves without judgement. Its okay if they do not come to a decision after they have spoken about their feelings.

Decision making - Since people with DPD are dependent on others approval, its important to give them to space to make their own decisions. Kindly explain to the person that you cant always give them approval, as it can hinder them from becoming more independent. Observe the ways in which they may ask for reassurance or approval, sometimes it can be very subtle (Theres a party tonight that my friend is throwing could be a means of asking for approval). However, keep in mind there are times when making a decision together can be better than making one independently, so be mindful of when it may be okay to give your opinion. Finally, each time they make a decision, make sure to offer praise[5].

Discussion

If someone who had never heard of dependent personality disorder asked what it is, what would you tell them?

What do you believe the first thing you should do is to assist someone with DPD or is suspected to have DPD?

How can you take the initiative to help someone you know if they had DPD and were dependent on you?

What have you learned after reading this post?

Further reading and resources:

Overview of Personality Disorders - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n2YUhNg41M&vl=en

Diagnosis of Personality Disorders - https://psychcentral.com/disorders/dependent-personality-disorder/symptoms/

The Stigma of Personality Disorders - https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26780206

Resources used

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15291684

[2] https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463

[3] https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000941.htm

[4] https://www.brightquest.com/dependent-personality-disorder/how-do-you-treat-dependent-personality-disorder/

[5] https://barendspsychology.com/partner-has-dpd/