Module 4. Interpersonal Effectiveness: (Discussion #1) Overview

DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). See this post for general info about DBT.

What is interpersonal effectiveness

Interpersonal effectiveness is a set of skills for building and maintaining healthy relationships.

DBT founder Marsha Linehan describes three types of interpersonal effectiveness:

• Objective effectiveness: being able to get our needs met
• Relationship effectiveness: being able to maintain harmony and minimize conflict
• Self-respect effectiveness: being able to stand up for ourselves

For people who have experienced unhealthy relationships, trauma, or attachment difficulties, interpersonal effectiveness skills may not come naturally and learning them can be very helpful.

Interpersonal effectiveness skills

There are different lists of interpersonal skills. The list we’ll be following for upcoming posts is a mixture of topics from several different presentations of interpersonal skills:

• Interpersonal rights: understanding that it is okay to expect and ask for certain things in relationships
• Communication styles: finding a balance between caring for ourselves and caring for others
• DEAR MAN: skills for objective effectiveness (i.e. getting our needs met)
• GIVE: skills for relationship effectiveness (i.e. reducing conflict)
• FAST: skills for self-respective effectiveness (i.e. standing up for ourselves)
• THINK: skills for reducing negative feelings toward others
• Boundaries: being able to protect ourselves and maintain control in relationships
• Validation: helping people feel heard and respected
• Trust: creating relationships that feel reliable and dependable

Reflection

Which of these skills are you most interested in learning more about?

Sources:

https://dbt.tools/interpersonal_effectiveness/index.php

https://sunrisertc.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/interpersonal-effectiveness-dialectical-behavior-therapy-dbt-0416134

https://dbtselfhelp.com/dbt-skills-list/interpersonal-effectiveness/

https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/interpersonal-effectiveness/