PL 101: Systems vs. Goals (Discussion 4)
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Hello Leadership Crew!
Welcome to our 4th discussion in this first course. In todays discussion, we will be talking about systems vs. goals.
To start, please read this post here  and watch this video.
The basic argument here is that having a system is better than having a goal. A system is a way of behaving that helps you move towards accomplishing something. A goal is usually and end state that happens after you have accomplished something. I think eating healthy is a good example. A goal might be to lose 10 pounds. In this case, you feel kind of bad about yourself until you hit that goal; and then, once you hit it, you kind of lose the purpose because the goal has been reached. If you relapse and gain wait again, then you fall back into feeling bad about yourself again. Contrast this with a system of eating healthy. A system might include things like: having a big glass of water prior to each meal; eating a lot of fruits, vegetables, and nuts; not eating after 9pm; and/or doing some level of intermittent fasting. You wouldnt integrate all of these new healthy eating behaviors at once. Instead, youd gradually introduce one and then another and then another over whatever period of time makes sense. The system enables you to continuously get healthier and healthier. You will eventually reach the goal, but itll be the byproduct of eating healthy.
Another example might be education. I dont really care all that much about grades for my kids. I mostly want them to learn and enjoy learning. We talk about what they learn, we draw things, they make their own educational videos, they explain things to me in their own words etc. I want them to have a system of learning and refining their perspective on things. If they have this system, then having good grades will be a natural result of enjoying learning.
This also has implications for 7 Cups as well. We might have goals of having a certain amount of group support messages or 1:1 messages. Those are fine goals to have, but we mostly want to create a system of support where people care for one another and then the natural result is an increased number of messages. Or, zooming back, think about this leadership development program. We could have an arbitrary goal of training a certain number of new leaders to serve our community; or we can co-create a system - this leadership development program - that helps people become leaders. The natural consequence of the program will be a higher number of trained, competent, and strong leaders that can better support our community. Â
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
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@GlenM
I loved watching the video. Both were very insightful. I have been setting goals all my life and I have never reached them. Therefore I will have a system. The key system to succeeding in life is to not having the pressure to achieving these long term goals. The three behaviours I will implement are removing the pressure from achieving long term goals, creating baby steps and basically attaining the baby steps slowly by learning new skills, new knowledge etc throughout my life and learning from my mistakes
@azuladragon34
It's great to see that you keep an interest in learning and that you keep the patience of going through this process.
@azuladragon34
Hello! Andy over here! I feel the same way you do about the video. I am so grateful for it and I feel like it was really helpful! :)
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
*To be proud of the progress that I am making
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
* Stick to a schedule
*Practice gratitude and be grateful of how far I have come
*Never settle for less
@CheeryMango I love this!
@LittleBirdie30 thank you 😊
You brought. Up some really good points there .@CheeryMango
You brought. Up some really good points there .@CheeryMango
Those are some good things to adopt in your life. @CheeryMango
@CheeryMango
I agree with you! Practicing gratitude is so underrated, yet so important because it helps us see the things we take for granted and allows us to be grateful for all that we have.
@GlenM
This was such a thoughtful read and watch and it really made me think! Every year, I set a goal for myself to lose a certain amunt of weight. Usually, I hit it. But if I don't, I become really discouraged. In this mindset, a goal wouldn't be appropriate. A system of eating healthy and exercising would me more useful in helping me accomplish what I want. Consistently eating right, exercising, and drinking enough water are integral parts of my system that will help me to continue that lifestyle even after I have reached the "goal."
@JennMarie2
Yes. The lifestyle change is so necessary and important.
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
I need to set up a system of studying properly in order to achieve my academic goals instead of just focusing on the goals.
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
- Taking regular studying breaks
- Making studying more interesting through a mix of youtube videos and talking about what I learned with my friends
- Balancing my academics with my personal life through setting a time limit for my studies every day.
@tessie855
That's awesome! I hope you see progress. All the best!
@Grace8402
Thank you!! :)
@tessie855 I need to remember these!!
@tessie855
Sounds great! All the best for your wonderful journey! 😁
@tessie855 breaks are awesome, they help us with that overwhelming feeling: )
I quite enjoyed reading the post and watching the video, both were very informative. I have never been one for setting goals, perhaps because I never found them to be too effective, and I think the ideas expressed here sum up the reasons why quite nicely. Goals can be a great way to assess our progress towards building necessary skills, habits, and behaviors ("systems," to use the word from the post), but our focus should be on gaining and honing those skills, habits, and behaviors.
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
A key system that I need to set up in my life to help me succeed is organization, with regards to my work and responsibilities.
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
▶︎ Create and complete tasks on a to-do list
▶︎ Focus on creating specific time slots to attend to each task
▶︎ Eliminate distractions from my workspace
Ivy 🐑 Through the Fire, You will Prevail
@IvyL
Hey! Your post already seems very organised. 😄 All the best! 🙋♀️
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed? What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
Key System - I do not set goals I really do not I use to set and plan and do list and cross them off and do pros and cons which are actually good and Journal etc even tho all this can wear a person out by putting pressure on ourselves.. but key things would be just do what I can and do it to the best of my ability and not sweat the small things and work on things that interest me and make me feel good about me and what I can do to help others to feel better about thier self which is why I am here in the leadership program.
3 Behaviors
1. Relax - Relax the mind and let go of worry and overthinking, relax the tensed up body muscles which I am bad about .
2. Stop Judging myself and Others- I am not young like everyone else here . I am not smart enough to be someone with badges or roles or I am not who they are . I am not really worthy of being with some people . They wont like me , They will laugh ar me...... STOP Judging me and them because this is what I am doing along with the first one Relax and stop worrying. I am good enough for ME!!
3. Balance- Balance my real life from The 7cups life-- How much time should I be on the site . How much time should I be in the listener support room , how much time should I be out in the member rooms. how much time ..... stop being a clock watcher !! Balance things out to where I am not stessing and worying about where I should be and need to be ... Put my Real life First.
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Hey! I relate to you a lot and I need to work on similar things. I hope you see progress. All the best! 😄
@Grace8402 Thank you for sharing .. I am always gonna be a work on progress I believe we are all the same with being a work in progress right lol...... I am almost 55 years old but I do believe I can work and change some things about myself or improve.. 
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
That is so awesome! And yes, we are all work in progress! ❤
@Grace8402 For sure !! thank you .
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
I think I would have a lot to learn from you. Looking forward to interacting with you in this community. I was about to PM this but couldn't so I replied to you here. Have a great day/night! 😊
@Grace8402
So sorry i do not know why you would not be able to message me unless you are under age 18 ?
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Oh yes, I am under 18. Will be 18bin a few months. 😆
I had to chime in to Point two . That really reminds me of saying I heard recently. . " The best is the best for you " kep that in mind. @Tyedyedbutterfly65
@Goldenbutterflyofhope OKay thank you !!
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
I
@GlenM I am not sure what is happening but the post are not showing up until like days and weeks later Glen I check my notifcations everyday and watch for post and just seen this one pop up today . so very sorry....
Tye 
@Tyedyedbutterfly65
Same here, Tyed. I just saw this today.
@PeaceLoveandPaws Thank you for also sharing this and letting me know I am not alone on this lol..
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 I think you're okay. Looking at the forum, a lot of posts were created as placeholders on 6/29, and they're being edited with details and announced on a flow basis as the course progresses.
@QuietMagic Thank you so much for replying !!
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 
@GlenM
If I'm honest, currently many of my personal systems are disintegrating, and I feel like right now the best thing is for me to let that happen and not be too impatient.
An analogy might be a person with a stomach virus having no appetite. Even if the general wisdom were typically, "it's good to eat healthy food", some instinct kicks in that intuits "right now something special is happening where I shouldn't make myself eat". There's a kind of passivity or yielding that feels appropriate whereas trying to force things or instigate change has a sort of feeling of self-violence to it.
I see my personal systems as being sort of like hermit crab shells that aren't permanent... where it's okay/normal for me to sometimes not have a system, not know what I'm doing, and live in ambiguity. I don't feel comfortable thinking of the in-between gaps as inferior when they're part of the process. Things sort of pop in and out of existence, and sometimes there are spaces where nothing really exists. (Of course, if I start feeling a lot of anxiety and that motivates/inspires/energizes me to create systems to fill the void, that's part of the process too.)
***
For the sake of answering the question 
, a system that I might set up in the future if it feels right is a routine for daily exercise. Habitual actions supporting that might include: 1) eating additional smaller meals throughout the day, 2) setting an alarm to go to sleep by a certain time, and 3) drinking a certain amount of water per day.
@GlenM
What is a key system that you need to set up in your life to help you succeed?
A key system is to be able to do things in a gradual, consistent matter. As an example, setting a routine to be applied before I go to bed instead of just doing "whatsoever" every night.
What are 3 behaviors you can implement to help you gradually grow that new system in your life?
1. Practice for 30 minutes to one hour caligraphy everyday. It will help me work with my anxiety, and develop skills of patience (I just started this hobby, so it may take some time to be good at it hence why I mentioned patience) which will come in handy in situations of conflict, and distress.
2. As I mentioned before, setting up a routine before I go to bed. This will help me to have a better night's sleep. If I'm well rested, I'll be able to complete the tasks ahead of me.
3. Speak for a few minutes on the phone with a friend. As a person who's not comfortable with speaking in general, I could start speaking just for a few minutes with someone I trust. Slowly, as I feel better and identify which kind of topics I can speak through, I can start calling other friends, and so on. This will develop a sense of confidence when talking with other people, including strangers. Communication skills are essential, and can be applicable with everything.
