there is no one way to look gay/bi/ace etc.
first of all, happy pride month! i wish you all enjoy this month
now...let's move on to our discussion for today!
we have often seen people being called "gay", "bi", etc. just by the way they look...or that people look like boys, like girls, etc., based on their looks, right?
i want to explain, that no one can look a specific sexuality based on their looks, nor can they look a specific gender, based on their looks. unfortunately, there are many stereotypes out there that have made people believe that this is how a person must behave to be a specific gender/sexuality, which is just wrong. everyone has different ways of expressing themselves and their sexuality/gender, and generalizing everyone by "standards" and stereotypes is wrong, and harmful, too
question; have you ever been called a specific gender/sexuality based on your looks? if yes, how did this situation affect you?
what would you do if someone close to you was put in such a situation?
tagging the community taglist;
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Hello and happy pride month! Thank you for this lovely post. It's really heartwarming to see the awareness about sexuality and genders spreading like a wildfire. Honestly, I think calling other people "miss" or "sir" is already assuming someone's gender. Once a close friend of mine who is she/her bisexual female was asked by her grandmother things like "when will you have a boyfriend? You're a pretty girl, boys must really like you" and stuff like that. She was so done with it she just went "Granny, I like girls". I felt so proud of her and it's really uplifting to see the shamelessness for who she truly is. And I also think for older people it's harder to understand this stuff at least in my culture and religion. Basically, in my country, there is huge homophobia and people (even important politicians) talk about "LGBTQ+ free zones". It's really disgusting. I really hope our world will change and people will be more welcoming and accepting. My heart already melts when I see threads like this. Let's keep spreading positivity and love. Take care and keep fighting because there is a lot to be fighting for <3
I've been called lesbian (more rudely "lesbo") by strangers on a bus for having short hair! Literally no other reason, I was just sitting on a bus.
I've also been called "he-she" and "it" for having short hair and dressing more "masculine".
It's a very weird and not fun experience. Like.. people really can't handle people having different lengths of hair? So strange! I usually just ignored it because people who hold those views are just going to be a headache to try to reason with. And luckily it usually only happened in passing so I didn't have to deal with the people afterwards :P
My parents completely denied me being gay for five years, including forcing me to remove social media posts from pages or apps that my grandparents had no access to, claiming my grandparents would never understand, yet when I told them last year they were the most understanding people in my life. Since they my grandparents have been sending me so much gay pride stuff, while my parents ridicule them for supporting this “disturbing lifestyle”. My grandparents decided to encourage me to look the way I want, even if it terrifies my parents. They went as far as to buy me a giant flag for my bedroom, and then sent one to my parents to show how supportive they are.
hey @KateDoskocilova (: hiya and happy pride month to you too! thank you for this wonderful and validating post. such harmful stereotypes both within and outside of the LGBTQIA+ community should always be addressed and discussed, so thank you for bringing this to light! seeing as i haven’t come out to many people (outside of 7cups) i fortunately haven’t experienced too much stereotypical and/or homophobic views and opinions about my sexuality. however a lot of people assume that i’m straight, including people that i’ve come out to, for multiple reasons, and end up asking me questions like “when are you getting a boyfriend?” or “are you going to have a husband in the future?”. as much as i am attracted to men, it makes me feel as if people don’t understand or acknowledge that i am attracted to women too, and it makes me feel invalidated and unseen as a bisexual person. if someone close to me was put in a similar situation, i would do my best to let them know that i see them for who they are, to be understanding and empathising with them regarding the heteronormativity that makes them feel unheard and unseen as someone who is part of the LGBTQIA+ community. thank you so much again for this post! very grateful. -S x
Hello, Magical Mouse Here!
Sometimes it makes me angy that i've had love partners of both sexes and most people calls me gay even if i had more woman partners, im just angy and not angry because gay isn't a bad thing
Im super clean, stilize moustache and beard a lot, remove most of corporal hair, smells good and dress flamboyantly weird so i guess i can't complain that much
In my country not straight = gay
Hopes the k-pop movement gets bigger because it will open the scenario that effeminate men who know how to dress still want woman partners :3
My ex gf pushed me to be the 'man' in the relationship and mocked me for being a woman. I just like being able to be feminine and myself. I just wish people wouldn't expect me to act a certain way in order to deserve love
My family doesn’t know I ain’t getting married to some straight man 😳 I don’t even want to marry (I think my aunt knows though). I believe that me and my partner will be just fine without a legal binding. fr though it’s annoying when people talk about the “gaydar” like there’s a specific way to be gay
Yeah, I’ve been told that I dress like a stereotypical bisexual. Which I am, but just because I dress a certain way, doesn’t determine my sexuality. I just wanna wear cool clothes and be gay. Is that too hard to ask lol?