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Family & Caregivers Community Taglist
by Sher217
Last post
 December 20th, 2022
...See more The Family & Caregivers Taglist has been moved!  Just wanted to let everyone know that our taglist has a new 'home' beginning in 2022. This thread controls an auto-updating taglist. To see the current list, go to Family & Caregivers Community Taglist [https://rarelycharlie.github.io/taglist?5e3f5e73a75214ab42c6ab21499775c0]. To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words: Please add me To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button above and write the exact words: Please remove me Please Note: the previous Taglist of active members is being moved into it's new location. current taglist updated 20Dec 2022 @addyor7 @adventurousPeach7700 @agreeableBlueberry7426 @AlexVincent @almarben2021 @amiableRaspberries644 @Avaray @benkimoo @bestRaspberries1517 @blue0moon @breeuniqemsns @CallunaDee @caringEyes817 @caringPink6587 @CautiousKitten4644 @ClearingBaggage22 @competentParadise6344 @Crankenstein @cyanVase4996 @Daemon85 @dancingIvory @diligentPlace1585 @discreetThinker5846 @DistortionHeart @dtanushree @dynamicPond275 @easyMango9861 @easyZebra1721 @EvelyneRose @fairmindedWisteria3450 @FluffyHamster666 @forcefulFriend4768 @freshOasis7877 @friendlySkies6250 @FrozenRob0t @gentleLove4111 @giraffe2011 @GloriaD @Goddessenergy8 @GoldenNest2727 @goodPapaya8943 @greenDrum7364 @hardworkingKite6195 @hardworkingStrawberries4640 @HempHealer @independentPrune479 @inventiveTurtle5247 @katerina214 @Kickan75 @kindCloud141 @Kjalen97 @lavenderBranch7351 @lilrezvert @Limegreen642 @LISTENER1610 @littleteddy06 @LovetoGod @lovingFlower72 @LovinHope @loyalShade3261 @Lu5566 @Margiewm @marvelloustree1111 @melloohi @miraculousPresence1609 @MissEG1988 @MoonChild1206 @Moonlemon48 @MrMarino @MsVee2021 @munchiegoosie @MusicalMelodyxX @mxmes @MySty2 @neonNest6685 @npetler24 @Onlyonefollower @peacefulPlum1025 @powerfulEast1407 @pramsay57 @quietChestnut6900 @Ramiluz1 @scarletPear1945 @selfconfidentWalker138 @sevtopaloglu @Sher217 @SherryTong @ShyCat1678201 @shymap84001 @Smokescrunch @SoarLikeAnEagle @softMusic9759 @spencer1234567 @Sraphoenix @strangermj12 @StressedTFOut0914 @Sunisshiningandsoareyou @tallFriend9158 @Taylorz27 @Tinylemon1 @toughCurrent7546 @TraumaOne @TruckKnitter @turkeybby @unassumingDog4740 @versatileSky19 @VioletPerson1783 @warmheartedSailboat2021 @WillGood @Wisesupports @WorriedNana @yellowSquare6431 @YourNeighbourhoodsuperhero ~ Sher
Self care for the caregiver
by delightfulUnicorn38
Last post
 Friday
...See more    The caregiver is a person who takes a duty to support someone by doing common tasks like  daily help in nutrition, cleaning, physical moving,  taking responsibility of managing the health care of the supported relative, Handle finances and other legal matters; and  Being a companion. the act of providing at-home care for a relative for the long term can bring stress or lead to burnout, especially when the caregiver lacks training and support . self-care can reduce the stress  and avoid burnout  by setting boundaries, joining to support group, getting trained, taking time for own wellness, practicing self-compassion .
Appreciating Caregivers
by Hope
Last post
 Thursday
...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are well. Being a caregiver can be quite an underappreciated role. Sometimes there is no income, other times it pays less, but regardless of what kind of role you are in, caregiving can feel like a thankless job. If you are a caregiver or have worked with one. What do you think is the best way to acknowledge and apprciate the efforts of a caregiver?
Depressed partner
by pinkPeach2089
Last post
 Thursday
...See more Hey everyone, I just found this side because I was looking for some community support (I've already got a therapist but anyway). My partner is in a very heavy episode of depression and I don't know what to do. His therapy won't start for a few more weeks and our relationship is on edge because I don't feel seen or heard by him. Has anyone here been in this situatuon? I feel so helpless... Thank you for your answers. Have a lovely day.
Reliving Traumatic past
by SOFFY9
Last post
 October 28th
...See more IS THERE A WAY OUT? For the first time ever, I ended up speaking about my traumatic past to a friend a few days ago, (unplanned) which made me realized that in fact it's not a past, and I'm just trying to act cool. It still hurts and it's even more frustrating that I'm not out of it and I can't get out of it and it's never ending. I'm very very exhausted by the thought of that person, I don't wanna be her in sight, I want her away from my life. But I have no power to do this, I feel trapped in a hole. In fact, my whole life feels like a trap with this person in it. She literally raised me from the age of 12, (I'm currently 19) so how is it possible to be out of it, she's seen like my second mum. Being a last born, nobody took me for real and they never will, "she just lacks tolerance, just endure it" that's what they say, while I was slowly running insane and losing myself. Even tho there were signs, my family will rather blame things on me than think that my sister might be doing something wrong. My performances dropped, I quickly went from an excellent kid to an average kid my first few months living with her. I became the kid that doesn't like to eat, even tho my sister is capable of feeding me whatever I wish to eat. I lived everyday of my life, 2017-2021, in constant fear of the person I lived with which is my big sis (firstborn) it was as if i didn't exist before then, those 4 years feels like my whole life span, I'm still living there. I have no memory of who I was before 12. She scares the life out of me. I had to endure everyday telling myself that I'll be fine once I'm out of that place and I did enter university but that doesn't cut it. I thought that would be the end, but here I am again. Moreso, she's just a call away. I'm the girl that hates closing hours during secondary school cos I don't wanna be home, I'm the girl that hates Fridays because we don't go to school on weekends and I'll always be the first one to agreed to a weekend lesson whenever a teacher suggested it. And even now, I don't wanna be home during semester breaks, I'll be resuming my 4th year next month and my course is 5 years, the thought of graduating is beautiful but also saddening. I'll no longer have my space and I'll have to go back home. I'm just a last born, a soft girl apparently, so I can't even make the decision of not going back home after graduation. Is there anything I can do? To relieve my chest? Is there anything I can do to relieve myself from this nightmare of a person? I didn't have anyone to tend to me as much as I craved growing up, several times I wished someone asked me if I was okay and tried to get me out of that place but no one did and no one will. Everything my sis has ever done for me only burdens my soul. I'm never truly excited by the thing she has done for me, I just put on that face to make her feel appreciated. I rather feel frustrated and guilty to have her take care of my needs. What could I have done?. Nobody knows how uncomfortable it is being around her, how terrifying is her voice and how sharp her words is. I'm overwhelmed by the thought of her yet again, cos we started to seem close, and that is because we recently had an issue which kept us out of contact with each other, tho those periods were very peaceful for me but my family won't watch that go on. Out of sight, out of mind right? I'm terribly stucked in a life that I don't wanna live. The only place I am myself and free is my self-contained room(hostel). I considered myself very brave cos I still go home during semester breaks, tho I always rush back to school, lying that we resumed already. Even tho the most I've spent during those breaks is just 3 weeks, it usually feels like forever. I have to be mentally, thoroughly and physically prepared when going home cos I know it's never going to be nice. To spoil it all, this person is still the same, she's one who doesn't care about what she says to me. She speaks whatever she wants and say it however she wants. She is the older one(34y.o) ofc my feelings won't matter, once I'm physically well. I'm from that kind of family. I wanted to disappear many times but I'm not capable of doing that, I can't even financially be responsible for myself. It doesn't matter how many times she hurt me whether in the past, in the present or future, I dare not say a word or feel a thing cos I shouldn't have existed.
Considering cutting off untreated BPD mother
by Anxiouskitten23
Last post
 October 26th
...See more My mother has untreated BPD (for many years but I’ve only been able to work it out after I went into therapy 4 years ago). She has frequent episodes where she has an outburst either in person or over text, blaming me and my sibling for all of her problems, she says the most hurtful and insensitive things, and then when she’s done, she’ll pretend as if nothing happened the next day and expect us to carry on as usual…She has refused therapy or medication and thinks therapists are scam artists. She sees herself as the victim and blames everybody else for her problems…  When I was living with her I had no option but to ride this emotionally unstable wave with her and it’s had a deep impact on my mental health too to the extent that I was showing some BPD symptoms too along with ADHD and chronic anxiety…I’ve worked on this for 4 years in therapy and am able to lead a more or less “normal”life on most days.. I have a supportive partner who understands and is with me on my journey… I moved to a different country 4 years ago and started a new life there, but I’m back now for a bit to meet with my friends and family and introduce them to my baby.  Only this time I chose to live in a separate place and not with my mother. This has upset her and in her latest outburst she’s accused me of causing her heartache and sleepless nights and extreme stress…  as a mother now, I find it to be my responsibility to be a good mother to my son by managing my emotions, being emotionally stable and looking after my mental health in order to show up for my baby… but having a relationship with my mother is not letting that happen… i am considering cutting off from her as every interaction with her now is extremely draining and if I continue, I will only be spending more and more time in therapy to deal with it all…  My sibling and I don’t openly talk about my mothers condition to friends and family because we want to protect her reputation as we come from a culture that frowns upon speaking ill of your parents…But it’s becoming a big burden now… I feel terribly guilty and ashamed even by the thought of it. But something needs to change if I have to break this cycle and protect my child from this…  Any advice or personal experiences would be really appreciated, thank you so much. 
Is it okay to want space from your family?
by MysteriouslyFound1893
Last post
 October 13th
...See more Is it okay if on most days I need space from my parents? Is it okay if on most days I just need the affection and acknowledgement? It is okay if on most days I want to just be away from this place, anywhere but here?
Parents Arent There (Triggering)
by ItsPreeti
Last post
 October 13th
...See more We keep seeing Öh mother but some of us never had good memories with our mother/father. We had parents but not in actual-so we dont miss them when gone . Share your note what you would like to say to your parent/parents. Whether its stressed out or caring doesnt matter-share it . A note to a parent which you felt must have been understood . And incase you loved them-share that note too. 
Feeling low
by yeshu
Last post
 October 13th
...See more Never got to experience care and love in the family, rather treated as a robot or some other machine who does things that they want to. With a *** up family where one doesn't trust each other but pays heed to other people's negative opinions about the other person. Thought let's try get a life partner whom I could share my thoughts. But I was bought up like in a cage that it is not possible to sociallise easily, and guess what even no one even shows me any intrest in dating apps also.
Estranged from parents
by convivialCurrent1937
Last post
 October 12th
...See more Two years ago I decided to cut contact with my parents. I don't want to go into full detail why I made that decision as there are many reasons which would take a very long time to type out. A shortened version is my mum kicked me out of the house because i went out and wouldnt tell her where (I was 28) and then when I moved out she proceeded to make false allegations about me to other family members and then told lies about trying to unalive herself. Unfortunately this isn't bad mental health, just years of awful behaviour finally coming to a point that I could no longer accept. Although he has calmed down a lot as he has gotten older my dad used to be a very violent and angry man. Never violent to me, but towards my mum - who would tell me he do the same things to me when I was older 😳 Most of the time I'm happy with my decision. I accept that my parents will never change their behaviours and that they don't see anything wrong in the things they've done and that contact with them will only cause me more stress and pain. However, they're getting older now (I think 65 and 70), so they don't have all the time in the world left. I can't help but wonder if I'll regret my decision after they're gone and it's too late. And then I look around and see other parents treating their children with kindness and I just wonder what's so wrong with my parents that they don't even care to speak to their kids. I know i cut contact, but my parents dont speak to my brother and come up with lies like not having his phone number (i gave it to them and when my brother called my dads phone my brothers name came up 🤨) My mum says he talks to much so she doesn't want to speak to him. Yes, he can be a lot, but that's her son! I just don't understand why any parent would act this way. But I have to just accept it. I can't change them. I just hate that I know the way they are has shaped me as a person. The only person I can really talk to about my parents is my brother because he's the only person who understands how they act and what they've done. I dont know, I just think people can't comprehend that anyone could just not care about their kids. Like, we were watching a documentary about a murderer a few weeks ago and his mum was calling him and visiting him in prison and my brother said 'that guy murdered someone, and his mum treats him better than our mum treats me.'  sorry for the lack of structure in this post, i just needed to have a vent!
Help me with my wife!
by betrue21self
Last post
 October 12th
...See more I spent the last 2 1/2 years on a work project, 10+ hours a day, 6+ days a week, with no days off but Sundays. I am the sole provider for our entire livelihood, and I put my work first & foremost, above all else, especially all my wife's needs. The individual I worked for was a total narcissist, and a complete sociopath (the very definitions), and I went from the most positive and cheerful person, to struggling just to heal every day. I was very little fun to be around, no use to her before work because I was getting ready, no use to her after work because I was physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted from his brutality, and my day off was me trying to recover and rejuvenate first, and quality time with her second. She became so unhappy. She felt completely alone. She was managing all the household, cleaning, and chores alone. None of her needs were being met, not physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. When she told me she can't do it anymore, I woke up. I opened my eyes to see what I had done, who I had become, and how I was treating her (or rather wasn't). I immediately quit my job, and focusing entirely on her (with the exception of trying to find more work). I am putting her first & foremost again, and now I am committed to rebuilding, but she has been sooo unhappy for sooo long. She has huge resentment in her heart, she is overly critical of everything I say and do, she is uber-sensitive to the slightest bit of adversity, she is extremely defensive about everything, she is confrontational, skeptical, cynical, pessimistic, and negative (and can you blame her), and she has given up on trying to tell me what she needs because she has been doing so for the past 2 1/2 years, and it went in one ear and out the other, so there is very little sharing of her feeling, emotions, wants or desires now. She reacts to everything with sarcastic remarks and curt comments, which is how I know she's still harboring all the aforementioned issues. I NEED HELP! I need real-world, practical advice on specific steps I can take to bring back her joy in our relationship, her trust in me, her calm and her peace of mind in general, her optimism and positivity. How do I overcome her resentment? How do I gain her trust again? How can I satisfy her needs if I'm not sure what to do? How can I not make her feel so defensive? How can I stop her constant criticism? How can I make her happy again? (...side note) We have been married for 16 years. Our love is so much stronger than this, we both agree. We are still completely in love with each other. She is not thinking about leaving me, or wanting a divorce in any way, shape, or form. She just misses me and wants her husband, partner, and lover back. We have a beautiful life together, and a beautiful home. She has an amazing side business that fulfills her completely. She's an artist, a medium, a reiki master, and a spiritual healer. Thank god for that because it is what has kept her occupied while I had my priorities all wrong! 
Past sibling bullying
by charliedelitescit
Last post
 October 12th
...See more When I was a kid through to mid teens my younger brother bullied me pretty viciously, I wasn't abused or ever seriously injured but it was very much he enjoyed causing me pain (physical and psychological/emotional) and whilst I mostly fought back I was rarely the instigator or enjoyed hurting him back. I just wanted to be left alone and in peace. I was always told it was just sibling rivalry and that I should ignore him and he'd leave me alone (course he didn't). I had an otherwise easy childhood and my parents were caring and attentive but I feel so let down by them never properly stopping my brother? What should it even matter that they saw it as 'normal sibling rivalry'? I was in a lot of distress and they didn't make a real effort to stop it. Part of me really wants to confront them about the sibling bullying, mostly because when I think about it now (19) I end up sobbing so clearly it's still affecting me but I'm terrified I'll be told I'm being melodramatic or something else dismissive which will be more damaging. The one serious conversation I remember addressing the conflict when I was a kid, my mum told me that her and my dad had discussed me going on a "self-confidence" course! Did anyone else have something like this in their childhood? Has anyone tried to address this or something similar with their parents as an adult? (I know people have had far worse experiences with siblings and I've not got a mental illness from it but it still really hurt)
Boundaries and You
by
Last post
 October 11th
...See more Boundaries can be physical or emotional, and they can range from being loose to rigid, with healthy boundaries often falling somewhere in between. This leads to the question, ‘What do healthy boundaries look like?’ To help ourselves answer this important question, the following are a few discussion questions! We invite everyone to participate, with the motive of learning from one another's views. Discussion questions: * Values are the things that are most important to you. Ideally, your boundaries will reflect your values. For example, if you value family time, you might set strict boundaries at work. What are your most important values, and how do your boundaries reflect these values? * What challenges have you faced when trying to set healthy boundaries, and how did you overcome them (or, how could you overcome them)? * What have you noticed as repeated patterns that are perhaps not so ideal for your wellbeing and boundary setting? How can you flip these patterns from negative to positive? What tweaks do you need to make? Your boundaries will shift (or grow) as you do over time! So it is important to reconnect with oneself, reflect upon ourselves, and redefine our boundaries to go with our values and priorities! Looking forward to hearing everyone's responses to the discussion questions!

Family & Caregivers

Welcome to Family & Caregivers! This is a supportive space to share your thoughts and experiences.

“The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other,”  Richard Bach.


What are the different forum topics for Family & Caregivers?

Community Space: A place for introductions, icebreakers, games, community check-ins and discussions.

Family Relationships: A place for you to discuss all things relating to family relationships.

Support for Caregivers: Are you a caregiver? Get support and guidance here!


How can I help?

You can help us by simply responding to threads and sharing your story (if you're comfortable). Check-in with us, join a discussion, or start one! Alternatively, you can join us as a Forum Leader. Check out this thread for more information.


Helpful Threads

Taglist: Do you want to stay up to date with our community? Then join our tag list to be notified whenever there is a new discussion or update within the community!


Family & Caregivers FAQ

Q: Are there any sub-community-specific guidelines that we need to adhere to?

A: You can find Sub-community-specific guidelines below, which you should follow in addition to the general forum guidelines.


Help! I still have a question! 

If you need help, feel free to contact a community leader or post here, and someone will contact you!


Community Guidelines

Guidelines specific to Family Support Community

1) Be polite, and non-judgmental - Everyone has a different idea of what a "family".  No two families are alike, so please be open-minded and supportive to everyone who shares here. 

2) Please use appropriate language for all ages - This community supports both teens and adults.  Curse/cuss words will be removed from posts.  

3) Some topics may be triggering - If you find a topic here triggering please step away and take a moment of self-care. We try to be inclusive and discuss a wide variety of topics so there will be something for everyone.

4) The GOLDEN RULE - We are Family! We will be polite, friendly, caring, compassionate and offer support to everyone to the best of our abilities. You will be polite too!

Read the 7 Cups Guidelines
Community Leaders
Community Mentor / Teen Community Star
@delightfulUnicorn38
Community Resources

Family Stress https://www.7cups.com/family-stress/  

Domestic Assault https://www.7cups.com/domestic-assault-survivor/  

Questions & Answers https://www.7cups.com/qa-family-stress-23/    

Financial Stress https://www.7cups.com/qa-financial-stress-26/  

Sleeping Well https://www.7cups.com/sleeping-well/   

Group Support Chatrooms Group Support chatrooms 

Family Forums https://www.7cups.com/forum/FamilySupport_191/