A different approach when negative thoughts are bothering you

Normally when people feel depressed, they tend to have more negative thoughts than positive thoughts. When this happens, we try really hard to stop them.

When negative thoughts hit your brain, its tempting to struggle with them and try to shove a more positive thought in there. In the day-to-day reality of someones thinking, this doesnt really work. Your emotions have a tough grip on these negative thoughts, so youll have the best results if you imagine yourself emotionally letting go of them. The "letting go" approach is used in yoga and meditation to help a person stay focused on the present moment (MINDFULNESS). This idea comes from ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)

FOR EXAMPLE, You are stressed and worried about your spouse losing his or her job, and your greatest concern stems from your loss of control. The constant stream of negative thoughts in your mind has prevented you from doing any creative problem-solving. Since youve now identified your worries about not being in control, however, you are now in the position to take the power out of your negativity.

Release Thoughts and Keep Them Moving Along

When you think about getting rid of your negativity, you might start by trying to push those thoughts out of your mind. But stop and consider a different approach, something that would go along with meditation and yoga. Fighting against something usually takes a lot more energy than avoiding a fight in the first place.

Imagine a sheriff in an old Western town who sees a known outlaw calmly stroll the main street. The sheriff remains polite but firmly encourages the outlaw to keep on walking, right out of town. He projects confidence and stays calm. Thats you, acknowledging those negative thoughts while calmly telling them to keep moving along out of your mind.

Instead of pushing and prying your negative thoughts out, you are acknowledging and releasing them. And when they come back (which they will, out of habit), acknowledge that they are still coming and release them again. Look them square in the eye like that sheriff and tell them what they need to do – keep moving along. You dont try to wrestle them out of your mind, you simply let them go on their way.

Understanding Your Concerns and Releasing Negative Thoughts

Another day dawns and your spouse is no closer to finding a new job. As usual, the flood of negative thoughts and distressing emotions enter your mind. Remember that you know two things now. Your concerns stem from your lack of control. You also know how to acknowledge those thoughts and tell them to keep moving along out of your mind.

I should have had this fixed by now, and Were never going to get out of this mess, dont have the same power anymore. When you dont hang on tightly to each thought, they dont have much influence over you. They can come in and go out. You may still be concerned about your lack of control, but now the negative thoughts dont clog up your mind so much.

By letting go instead of pushing, your mind opens up and stays more relaxed. This also keeps your mind open to receive different thoughts. In fact, it may take a little while for a newer, more positive thought to take root, especially if you have a long-standing habit of negative thinking. Have some patience as you gradually introduce your brain to more positive thinking.