I'm confused.
Last month me and bestie got into a little fight that separated us for 4 days approx.
We didn't had any conversation during that time.
I was emotionally broken due to this. So in my frnd circle I discussed this matter with two of my friends who themselves are in relationship.
Acc. to my thoughts and all stuff they started saying ,u should leave her . She's using u. One of them suggested these things. So I opened up to them, trusting them and told all the things related to us. They poured a bucket of hatred on my head and I accepted all that things. Like I started believing them.
After few days me and my bestie sorted all that matter and I didn't told her that I spilled the beans . They both manipulated her that I spilled the beans intentionally, like I wanted to ruin friendship. Hell
She suddenly stopped talking. Blamed me of being a traitor and compared me with her ex.
I accept that I should have told her abt all the things but I had a fear that those things will bring an end to our friendship.
Now we are separated since a week .
Still expecting her to return ,to understand my feelings.
She doesn't even seem to be bothered like what happened between us . Some one pls help me. I can't get over this.
I miss her alot.
@carefulPine185 I am sorry you have had a falling out with your bestie. Hope you find a way to cope with that. If it is disrupting your life, have you considered getting professional support?
No I haven't approached any professional yet
@carefulPine185 I hear you. It sounds very frustrating.
It is difficult to tell someone else how to deal with things it may be advice that leads to a worse outcome. I am glad you shared and hope sharing helps.
you also can browse for a listener https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/ if you want to go into more detail.
@carefulPine185
Only three things matter in this situation.
- Are you still interested in being friends?
- Is bestie still interested in being friends?
- Will you both communicate and work together to try and remain friends?
Good friendships can weather through hardship. That is what defines them. You both need to have the will and the skills to keep the friendship together.
I miss her alot. I want her to be my friend again bcoz I can't trust anyone except her. But acc. To her these doesn't even bother her any more. She posted that .
@carefulPine185
There is a lot of nuance that gets lost in text and distance communication. If you know each other in-person, I encourage you to talk it over in-person, or at least via something like facetime or discord. Guessing at what someone meant when they said this-and-that isn't helpful.
Let her know you want to remain friends. Ask if they still want to be yours. Discuss if either of you need to do anything to improve your friendship going further.
She don't want to talk
She's with the people with whom I discussed abt her earlier.
@carefulPine185
If she really is your friend then you will respect her space. Bugging her isn't going to make her like you more.
This doesn't mean you can't try to become friends again in the future, but perhaps you need to let go for now.
Reflect on this situation, learn from it, and work on turning yourself into someone that people want to be friends with.
I just ignore them the whole time. I enjoy being alone , but her actions and the things I came to know abt her from people made me feel that I was just a joke in someone's life who did a lot of things selflessly and at the end I got a blame for being a traitor ..
Yeah I will wait for her to realize what actually she did to me.
I promise I will not try to interfere into her life.
I understand how hard this can be. I went through something like this. I worked through it with a therapist and that helped a lot not only to deal with my feelings, but also on how to give my friend space and how to approach her to rebuild the friendship. It took a lot of patience and trust in my therapist. We are now good friends again. Wishing you the best and I hope you can restore the relationship with your friend.
