Feeling inadequate? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt that you’re not the right person for a job because you lack the necessary skills or knowledge? Or have you thought that I should not be at a party because everyone is talking about things I don’t have a clue about? You might have experienced feelings of inadequacy, but what does it really mean to feel inadequate?
If a person feels that they do not possess the abilities or knowledge to do something on a job or can’t participate in a conversation because they do not know anything about the topic, then a person can feel inadequate. Now, if someone is a beginner and/or just starting a job, or if someone is new to a group and they are talking about an unfamiliar topic, this is all normal and usually will change with time. Even accomplished people and people who seem to know a lot have feelings of inadequacy. Those feelings are occasional though, not on a regular basis.
Was there ever a time in your life where you felt you’re not capable despite evidence?
Sometimes people feel deeply incompetent and not good enough all the time no matter how many compliments they get from others, no matter how much they have achieved in life. It’s completely beyond the occasional self-doubt we all experience at times. They simply feel that they are a fraud even if the evidence shows that they are smart, capable and competent. These feelings could be part of the “Imposter syndrome”
When you fail do you think “I can try again” “I might have to learn harder” or do you think “I’m just stupid, I can’t do this”?
How can one combat the messages from one’s mind telling you “You’re a fraud”, “Your achievements don’t count”?
Here are some things which can be very helpful
Cultivate a growth mindset
Use a more neutral or positive language in self talk. Instead of saying “I’m stupid, I can’t do this” you could say “I can’t do it yet”. This simple word (yet) can change the whole impact of your self-talk.
Learn to make yourself proud of you by trying out new tasks with a high ratio of success
Re-think your idea of what success means, and remember that perfection is an illusion, neither you have to be your best self all the time!
When you do well, do you feel that you deserve it or are you downplaying your achievements?
A severe imposter syndrome can create a cycle of self-doubt, self hate and depression. Be aware of any symptoms and how much they impact your life.
Talk about it, don’t isolate yourself but share your feelings with a trusted person or seek professional help if you feel it hinders you from living your life as you would like to.
Do you believe your successes are based on the effort you put in or purely on luck?
What have you tried that helps you gain a feeling that you are okay?
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When you fail do you think “I can try again” “I might have to learn harder” or do you think “I’m just stupid, I can’t do this”?
@soulsings
The thought of having done the best you can gives peace in my view. You know, that's all I can do and I did it so gratitude to yourself can come easier.
@amiablePeace77 thanks for your kind words
@amiablePeace77. I felt inadequate in the dating world. I had many failures but I did keep trying anyway. I never got it quite right but I finally met someone anyway. I think persistence helped but I can’t help but think 🤔 that a little luck was involved also.
@adventurousBranch3786 for me it was not expecting unrealistic things helped. Unrealistic things I do not think actually make us happy even if we find them.
@soulsings. I agree not having unrealistic expectations is helpful for me too.
What an insightful post, Ami :) I love the part about cultivating a growth mindset too!
