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Summary 50+ discussions week 48, 2024


Discussions:  Self-Acceptance

                      Living peacefully in a difficult environment

                      Reinventing Who We Think We Are



Self-Acceptance


Self-acceptance is the ability to accept both your strengths and your personal faults without judgement.


Here are some strategies that can help with self-acceptance:


Focus on your strengths and avoid blaming yourself for things beyond your control.

  1. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

  2. Reflect on your habitual attitude toward yourself and try to be more gentle.

  3. Acknowledge and celebrate your positive qualities and achievements.

  4. Practice mindfulness.


What does self-acceptance mean to you?



Living in peacefully in a difficult environment 


  1. Stop fighting the situation; see it with another perspective.

  2. Write out the key tasks you wish to complete today, what good things happened that you’re grateful for, and/or what you’re looking forward to. This can help you to feel “too preoccupied” with your own agenda to engage with the other person’s priorities.

  3. Take time for venting, venting can save you from re-hashing the day’s events over and over again in your head.

  4. Engage in relaxation techniques


What are other ways we could make ourselves feel happier in a difficult environment?


Reinventing Who We Think We Are


We may have to change who we are as a result of loss. Things we learnt may no longer be applicable, and we may have to start anew since what we had may no longer exist. It seems easier to stay in our comfort zone rather than stepping outside of it and taking a (fair) risk when we get overly comfortable in any aspect of our lives. 


How would you deal with loss like for example your partnership or career?

What is something new you would like to have in your new life?


6
amiablePeace77 OP Friday

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Fradiga Friday

@amiablePeace77

How would you deal with loss like for example your partnership or career?

What is something new you would like to have in your new life?


Well, lost a husband after 14 years of marriage. A widow has both sorrow and worry, rebuilding a different life with usually less income. One has to get through a lot of paperwork, decisions to make, listening at professional advice. Has to manage the children (adults and teens then) and their expectations, the manner in which their loss is felt, and the new worries they have. You just have to pull though all this as best as you can, while you can be tired (lack of sleep in my case). Somehow, you are resigned but some blue sky patches start appearing too. I must say also that I met a lot of new significant friends then as well as getting support from the older ones. 

I decided to go with my second career which was music. Word of mouth, some adverts and in a few months, I was a rather successful professional musician with followers and engagements, some bringing a good deal of money. Rented instruments, gave music lessons and went to all the engagements that paid really well, as it turned out. I had the energy back then. 

2 replies
amiablePeace77 OP 2 days ago

@Fradiga

It must have been incredibly hard for you to make sure that life is going on after your husband's passing. You suffered a great loss, and I can only imagine how it shook your and your children's life. It's good that you could use your musical talent to get through.

1 reply
Fradiga 2 days ago

@amiablePeace77

Thank you. At 44, you do have more energy than at 72 for all this. We pulled through... and stayed together. I am glad it is behind us.

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In recent years I have learned acceptance of situations, to some degree. Yes, our control is limited because we're only mortal. Self-acceptance, now...that I've never mastered. Not by the definition you posted, certainly. I'm a judgmental person, always have been...am also a firm believer in personal standards. They don't have to be unattainable or even all that lofty, as long as you have some kind of standards & hold yourself to them without exception. Without them there is no difference in character (or worth) between a human &, say, a half-starved hyena with intestinal parasites.

1 reply
amiablePeace77 OP 2 days ago

@slowdecline48

Having personal standards can help with self-esteem and personal growth but they need to be attainable. I hope that coming here will help you with self-acceptance. 

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