Just had a revelation
My husband and I moved to a rural town and we have an acre of land. Since we moved in 2 years ago, I’ve wanted a vegetable garden. I just need someone to roto-till the area. My husband has been passively blocking me. Just won’t help or talks me out of asking another family member to help me. Recently, he’s been saying it’s a bad idea. I finally asked him why. He said that it will be too much work (but I never asked him to do any work) then he said he wouldn’t eat the vegetables and finally he said he might want to play baseball with our grandson when he’s older. I only want a 20x20 foot garden. I reminded him that there is plenty of space to play. I just realized that all of his reasons are about him! He’s not supporting me and my interests. He really only cares about himself. It’s a very painful thing for me to accept
@quickwittedCamp7013
I am sorry he can not support what you want..... i do not know if it will help but my spouse spent money and time to get a small garden started but he could not help me maintain it. we had a neighborhood rabbit eat some / other died from not enough watering we both work yet he thought I had time to do all a garden and all house things ....
I would rather not had one planted then see i let it go to pot.
@quickwittedCamp7013 You could do container gardening. You wouldn't need to till any of the yard and and most plants grow just as good if not better because you can mix your own soil. You just need tubs or big flower pots and some bags of soil. Some bamboo poles and plastic netting or fencing will keep most of the critters out of it. I grow all kinds of stuff this way :)
So he isn't interested in helping, and he isn't interested in helping, and he isn't interested in helping and doesn't want to eat the fruits (and vegetables) of your labor?
Okay. It's your land as well. It's your space. He's not using it. Contact somebody and have them come till it. You don't need his permission to live in your own space and use your own space. You can give yourself permission to use this space as you wish. Plant your garden and engage in your joy! And if he complains, remind him that he said he wanted nothing to do with this and it's not his issue to worry about.
I know it's disappointing that he doesn't enjoy your enthusiasm for this project, but you're not in charge of his feelings. He has to manage his, and you need to take care of yours.
youre right but it’s so hurtful. I did try container gardening but I only had luck with potatoes and tomatoes. The other vegetables only produced a few items. It’s hard to find joy when you’re surrounded by negativity. But I don’t want him to brow beat me and always have his way. I’m going to try this next spring for sure thank you 🙏
@quickwittedCamp7013 And when you find yourself surrounded by negativity, go sit in your garden and be surrounded by positivity. The positivity that you took the initiative and made this garden. The positivity of the life and abundance that is growing all around you and from your hands and your labor .
I'll go ahead and suggest that in the middle of this garden you make this space for yourself. Put a small table and a chair or a stool there. Go and sit in your garden, enjoy a beverage, read a book. Make this space your own, fill it with your love, and let it fill you with a positive vibe any time you feel run down.
You don't even have to wait for next spring. Begin to stake off areas and organize how you want to plant. Consider the pros and cons of planting into the ground versus building raised beds or containers/planters/boxes. On the perimeter plant some spring bulbs or shrubs to make a boundary. Add some pavers around it or a path through your garden, maybe erect a trellis or moon gate. When spring comes you will have already put this energy and spirit, you've done all the planning and you're ready to begin tilling and growing.
I also live in a rural town with an acre and would love a vegetable garden! I think a 20x20 would be fairly large for just two people but you could can or freeze or give away the extra veggies. Growing up my parents always had a garden. Personally I'd just go buy a tiller or ask the neighbors to borrow one. Although it's late in the season here in the upper peninsula of Michigan of the usa, so I'd wait until next spring. I'm also single and independent and do whatever I want for the most part. If you really want one, don't blame your husband for you not doing it when you could do it yourself (just my 2 cents and I don't know the whole situation)
Talk to him and tell him that his selfishness hurts you
He needs to know how you feel
