I’m still stuck No where to go no one to be with

Sorry if too negative.  What is the meaning of a life with no one in it?  My kids are definitely not interested in chatting with me.  One does it out of duty only. She’s introverted and prefers alone time, doing nothing l  The other is suicidal herself.  Neither of them want to participate in life.  My ex husband is no role model and cares only of himself.  

There is also a new rift between me and my siblings.  My empty life clashes with theirs.  Sister cut me out entirely.  Brother has no real issues and plugging away into retirement without a care or worry….his wife is non stop planning and spending.  It’s hard for me to participate and see them living full lives.  

After 10 years divorced and still alone I see that I will not have anyone in my daily life. As an introvert and socially awkward, I rarely go out.  I can’t get into my old hobbies like I did.  I am realizing I was motivated by doing for others, and now there is no it’s like I have no purpose.  I have tried reframing my expectations, to go on in life for myself. It’s not clicking. I don’t do anything. I’m not motivated to do anything.   Ive lost spirit after working through life and lost everything I worked for.   

I don’t see how it’s possible to start an entire new outlook at this point.  So much history affecting me in depressing ways.  

I am tired of saying I don’t know what to do to make myself better, or to live alone.  What the *** kind of set up am I dealing with that i cannot get out of a rut after a decade?