Quality, Maturity of our Thinking, and Our Emotional Experience.

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A real thought provoker... I'd like to just make the comment that I do believe through experience and age, I've mellowed. I think and feel deeper. I think more before I speak than when I was younger. There are some things in my life I probably won't figure out fully until I get on the other side. But I'm content with how I've managed some of the big wounds I've had to heal. That healing took a mix of both thinking things through, and dealing with the emotions of being wounded so deeply. I believe emotions have to be felt. They can't be stuffed or ignored. My healing didn't come about by 'thinking my way out.' It was a mixture of both.

Healing takes a lot of courage, and it's truly admirable to meet someone like you who've managed to heal. What ways do you suggest to think and feel deeper? Also how is deep thinking different from overthinking?

As a person who's in their 20s, I would love to learn about your healing journey and what things have helped you cope.

I think the common mistake when faced with a situation we do is to pretend to be or act tough and strong. And I agree with you that feeling the emotions is the key. Also I think noticing your triggers and the way you behave in situations also helps.

@ThoughtBubbleExpess

You Posted:
Healing takes a lot of courage, and it's truly admirable to meet someone like you who've managed to heal. What ways do you suggest to think and feel deeper? Also how is deep thinking different from overthinking?

Deep thinking and overthinking in my opinion differ in one is positive, the other negative. Overthinking to me is a restless almost non-thinking response to outside stimulus. Not thinking with an intention. Deep thinking is more conscious self-guiding. It could even be like a meditation over a subject of concern. Breathing deeply, staying in a calm state of mind and heart with an inner intention to think a situation through in a positive manner.

So... Overthinking random, haphazard thinking.
Deep thinking... thinking intentionally in a calm state of being.

You Posted:
As a person who's in their 20s, I would love to learn about your healing journey and what things have helped you cope.

Wow... that would take me days to explain. And at this point, I'd prefer to just not get into that whole 'journey.' It was a long one. Took years. All I can say is cherish your journey. Learn from what you're experiencing. Be as mindful as you can be on a daily basis. I love the old anecdote I was told years ago... You were given two ears and one mouth. Use them in that proportion.

Be careful when you ask someone about 'their journey.' I found that a bit overwhelming (triggering) because it was like standing on the mountain I just climbed. Being asked to start at the bottom and explain all that I went through to get to the top... In order to succeed in this journey, there were many falls/fails/battles/hurts/pain. The best way I can sum it all up is just to say simply, "Don't Ever Give Up."

And yes...stuffing feelings only ends up in PTSD. To me, in layman's terms, that means letting an older you deal with something you can't deal with at the point of where it happened. Being an older me now...the best thing I could tell someone younger is deal with your pain when it happens. What ever it takes, deal with it. If it keeps popping up, keep dealing with it. Never stuff old pain. It just doesn't work. I know.

Thanks a lot for explaining deep thinking and overthinking. And also for describing the process of meditation, I didn't quite knew how meditation works and I couldn't still, but now I'll try again using just the methods you suggested.

Thanks a lot for sharing the anecdote and the tip to become as mindful as possible on a daily basis. I deeply apologize for the triggers. I should've been more careful, and I thank you for still teaching me about emotional healing and never giving up.

@ThoughtBubbleExpess

This is a quite interesting topic. I believe it is all connected. When I'm in a good mood my perception is more on the positive side so consequently my emotional experience will be also more positive. Mindfulness helps me to improve my perception so that I can focus on seeing what is there instead of attaching emotions from past experiences.

How did you focus on seeing it objectively instead of getting attached to emotions from past experiences?

@ThoughtBubbleExpess

Something that helps me is to focus on the facts, asking myself is this reality or am I adding something to it. There is a great post about reframing your thoughts from the therapist Lisa Meighan https://www.7cups.com/forum/7CupsOnlineTherapy_157/DevelopingHealthyCopingSkills_2253/CognitiveReframingHowtoDoit_283909/

Thank you so much, this post helped me learn something and and the next time I'm overwhelmed by my thoughts, I'll try to apply all the things I've learned here recently

@amiablePeace77

Maybe that's why I have problems from time to time with "mindfulness." It conflicts with my PTSD. I don't want to keep dealing with past emotions but something in me gets triggered beyond my control at times. I chalk it up to something that I haven't yet dealt with effectively from my past. So, I have to go back and deal with what ever was triggered and let it go. I also try to examine what in my present experience made the trigger happen so I can understand and deal with it better in the here and now. Some people may be more adept at focusing on what's in the present and not "attaching emotions from past experiences" to something in the present. Some with severe PTSD can't always do this, and shouldn't be made to feel less adequate if they can't. My own form of 'mindfulness' is accepting what ever is, whatever happens and dealing with it with self-love and self-patience.

I think it's important to accept that we all deal with emotions in our own ways. There may be tips/hints/suggestions... but all should be strained through our own personal filter of what's effective for ourselves.

(jmho)

.

@EmbStitcher33

It's certainly important to find out what helps us best, not what is said to help best.

I love your way of dealing with situations with self-love and self-patience. To me both seem to be most useful in dealing with PTSD.

Hi, Thought,

Wow, my life continues to pull the rug from under me, so I am not in a position to answer these questions with a good perspective.

Every day I wake up and remember the nightmare that I am living. I have to get past those thoughts and feelings and tell myself that it's ok for me to feel this way, considering what is going on in my life. Then I have to tell myself that it might work out.

I am sure trying to live in the moment and not cry. It feels like life has something against me, and that I am not supposed to be.

I wish I had something better to say.

Hi there PurpleTree,

To be honest, you said it wasn't much to say but it still told me so many things and to be honest, your response is the most relatable one to me, we may be facing different situations and maybe even totally opposite things but this feeling of walking up and looking forward to another day and telling myself that it's gonna be ok, that life has something against me and the feeling of not being able to comment on a certain situation is so relatable to me

● How our mind influences our emotional experience?

● Does our maturity and quality in our thinking have some kind of link with our emotional experience?

● And why do you think your answer is accurate?

My emotions and thoughts certainly do affect each other. I have better control over my thoughts than my emotions. My emotions run wild and have a life of their own. They're painful because of my experiences, including the abuse, the heartbreak, and the profound disappointment I have with life and myself.

I've learned things over the years that my have contributed to a little bit of wisdom. This is from experience, from reading, from stories I've heard of other people's experiences, etc. I still don't feel very wise.

I've made the same mistake when it comes to love repeatedly throughout my life, loving a woman who wants nothing to do with me. It's painful and it's a waste of my life. I still don't know how to break from this pattern. I've been in this rut for decades. I have learned that is is wrong, but I have not learned how to stop it.

I'm so sorry for all those bad experiences of abuse, heartbreak and disappointment. You're a warrior for dealing with all these things.

I think it's alright if you don't feel wise, what matters is that you're living, gaining these experiences, growing and flourishing.