Tips on Finding Your Listener
Many members know it can be frustrating to find a listener with listening style that fits us. So maybe this can help.
1. Browse listener with filter that match your need (this can be unnerving since we have to PM and never know for sure if they will be welcoming or not)
2. Check out their starting date. The new one tend to take more than 1 chat at a time as they probably still pretty much excited with the role.
3. Read the reviews, this isn't necessarily helpful but sometimes there are people who put what traits they're like about the person. Calm or cheerful, etc.. see if it match your need.
4. Check out their badges. In my humble opinion, this is more reliable than the reviews. Those who had done 12 sets of Peer Trainings are more likely have better understanding of what they're expected to do.
there are many listener badges, and those can tell us a bit of what can be expected from the person.
5. Know what we are looking for. Someone to brainstorm some options with? Someone to listen and validate our feelings? Someone to challenge our thinking shall we fall into fault thimking pattern? etc.
If the initial conversation doesn't fit, do ourselves a favor and don't push it. They're trying but just not what we're looking for.
6. Post in a forum that relevant to our issue. Looking for a listener who ..... (This may take sometimes for someone fits with what you're looking for to reach out to you)
Anyone wanna add more to the list?
Awesome post, @loveOcean !
When I think I'm not connecting with someone, I always recommend that they browse listener profiles and read them until they come across someone who feels like someone they would want to be friends with. In my experience, the listeners who took time to write a profile that is more than 2 lines long seem to be more sincere and are here on this site for the right reasons.
Though it is not a guarantee, verified listeners (which is a checkbox option in the advanced search filters) also took the time to complete additional training and went through some mock chats to earn that badge.
I totally agree with your comment about moving on if the "vibe" doesn't feel right. Just like in real life, 7 Cups is filled with all sorts of people, and there's no shame in saying you're just not feeling a connection with a listener.
@MidwesternCalmSeeker Great added tips on the list. Love it!
So the tips continue.... *beaming with excitement*
7. Check out the bio.
This will give us a lil more description about the person we are thinking to open up with.
Sometimes may give us an idea of how the conversation may go.
The "hello, I'm here to help you" (period) not quite helping lol
8. Verified.
Agreed that it's not guaranteed yet they are willing to go the extra miles :)
Much appreciated for the added tip CalmSeeker *hugs
@loveOcean
*high fives*
@SparkyGizmo <3
@MidwesternCalmSeeker
*high fives*
@loveOcean
Many thanks for your amazing post! 
Such great information! Nice of you to bring your knowledge to the table and help others along on their journey! *high fives* and *hugs* 
@SparkyGizmo
Hi5 Sparky <3
@loveOcean
Well, you amazing Ocean! I guess the thing for me today, is you have proven my point, something I always say as a listener to fellow listeners, and quite frankly, you have proven it to the fullest extent! You have truly gone above and beyond and helped others as in, guess what folks..........this is the way to get things done from my personal experience. And you are spot on!
What I hold in my heart and say over and over again on this site as a listener is that "sometimes your members can be your very best teachers"! As listeners, if we care and take the training guides, follow the forum posts and try to learn, seek to educate ourselves is amazing in an effort to help others. But sometimes, your members can be your very best teachers as well!
As a listener, we should, well listen and also listen to what our members are telling us! I believe there is a way to understand your members style and and rise up to meet it. I call it your "goldilocks listener" not too hot, not too cold.....this one is just right! First gear, second gear, 5th gear and there are times when you down shift. Even if you think you know your members style, their needs (type quickly, slow down as I feel as if you are interupting my flow and train of thought, too formal, not formal enough, emoji's make me angry, stop doing that,give more more emoji's etc) their needs could change on a daily basis dependent upon how THEY are feeling. No one ever deposited the truth scrolls with me and I certainly am not some perfect listener but I care and try hard. I don't think there is a so called perfect listener, it's simply a unicorn, the mythical creature that does not exist.
As for me, I can bend but I cannot break. And so, I think a good and caring listener, if they realize they simply are not the right "fit" for their member (of course this happens, people are just, well people) I do everything just as you explained for the member that is in front of me. I say every thing that you have said in this post to assist my member and educate them in an effort for them to find a much better listener than me! If it can't be me then certainly another listener would be the right fit. big *hugs*
