Self sabotage
Hi, I’ve been divorced for 8 years now after being married for 16. Our marriage ended on good terms but I still feel so alone and have no identity. I have many aquatinted people in my life, but no friends, no one I can really talk to. Every relationship I’ve had since my divorce has ended in disaster because of me. I’m never 100% in, I hurt them or leave before they can leave me and I’m terrified I will be alone. I feel like the walls are closing in on me more and more every day.
What does your day to day life look like ? Do you interact with many people at your job ? How is it that you feel you drive people away ?
@clo2012 Only hurt people hurt people. I'm no expert but you seem to want all the benefits of a relationship without putting risk on it, or maybe you're afraid to be vulnerable...? If you think you're worthy enough // or you're not worthy enough, you're both right. Personally, I think you're selfish to not give another party a chance. To play it safe, if that is the phrase. Maybe you're not being truthful to yourself. Maybe you never realize that the person that you took for granted was always there, it could be yr family or yr acquaintance. Or maybe I'm just a gibbering moron who doesn't know what I'm talking about, who knows right? 🤷 Gotta end it with it's never too late to find yourself. If you don't know who you are, the world will decide that for you. You sure u want that alternative? Not an easy process, but it's worth it. You'll never know the effort you're making could be an inspiration to sm else. That could empower you. When you look back, you probably think that you're a different person than before, much stronger. Also, exercise. It really helps.
I think it’s great that you joined this community. Maybe the complete anonymity is a good place for you to practice being vulnerable again. I’ve been hurt by many and I’ve hurt many. I heard it said once that everyone will hurt you, it’s about finding the ones who are worth the pain. This helped me work on trusting again. Don’t get me wrong I still struggle with trust issues, but I think what matters is that you try. Joining this community was a great first step to healing.