I'm all used up.

Hi @CadeD

This must be so hard for you, and I don't know what to say. But as you mention, if her son is there to comfort you that means you are a good man and it's something right.

I know it doesn't make any sense, and whatever I write doesn't make the pain and sadness you feel go away. But, we are here for you, to listen and support.

And thank you for reaching out and share with us ❤

@CadeD

I'm deeply sorry this happened to you. One thing in life can make a change. It can either devastate us or lift us up high in the sky. One thing only can leave a lifetime scar that no one you meet can ever make it go away or heal it. I know understand what you are going thru. I truly believe someone with your optimism and gratitude will definitely find the love you deserve. Its never late whether your 40, 50 or even 60. It will come one day. Please hold on.

Thanks everyone for all the kind words. I wish the best for all of you in your endeavors.

Dear @CadeD,

I understand the pain of betrayal and infidelity and I know how deep and devastating it is, especially in a long term relationship in which you've invested so much of yourself. But let me tell you from experience, the pain will fade and it will get better. However, in the meantime, you must take care of yourself today in every possible way so that by the time you're headed, you find yourself a new man, with confidence and spirit to start over and enjoy your life once again. Taking care of you is the only way to get out of this. One day at a time. It's not easy, but you can do it. Don't wait till your pain is gone because sometimes the damage of self neglect is irreversible. It will also be rewarding to you everyday that you're strong enough to eat well, exercise, and do everything that makes you feel well and healthy. Take care.

@CadeD

I am so sorry about your pain & loss. You are a brave man for trying to make the relationship work post-infidelity. Sadly it didn't work out & don't blame yourself too much.

On the practical side - I suggest you get a great divorce lawyer so you can protect your finances, she already shattered your heart & dreams of a good life together. Don't let her get away with your money too.

Thanks again for all the additional support. Your wonderful and practical advice have been noted.

It's not an immediate remedy of course and I understand that. I will live with this scar and try to be a better man. Maybe a little wiser too LOL.

May our experiences here help others to understand that life is fickle and that the we have the option to become better people together.

Cheers!

Sounds to me like she has used you as her Hunter/Gatherer/Protector for many years while looking to upgrade and swap you out. Ive been through very similar mine was 17yrs. Thats when men realise when they get older they are being milked and women go for that swap out for the last years of survivalism and more happier familes. Unfortunately your hormones like most mens are driven to do this, be the hunter/gatherer/protector and brainwashed to compete with other men, ideal candidates for women wanting their body clocks of security/marriage/kids/stuff/happy familes. But when a fella starts to get clued up, it all changes. Meanwhile once it breaks down, the man is then either driven to get another relationship to carry on being the hunter/gatherer/protector or ends up tearing himself apart mentally and sometimes physicially avoiding the DNA and brainwashed conditioning to do it.

You are unique and you dont need anyone to be you or to justify why you are here and alive. Thats hormone and brainwashed conditioning that makes you think that. Move beyond that and start appreciating your mind/body and soul, because you deserve it. Everybody does.

Take care and be strong, time to take care of yourself above everyone else