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I Loved My 30s, I Wish I Could Love My 40s

Amaranthic February 9th, 2021

In my early 30s, I got myself out of an abusive relationship, got myself out of homelessness, went back to college, got (what I thought) would be a fullfilling job, found a healthy relationship, and bought a house for the first time in my life.

Now here I am in my early 40s, unemployed because I realized the job I was in was just another abusive relationship (but with a paycheck), scared for the future, and blaming myself for it. My PTSD/depression keeps flairing up. It's ruining my relationships. I feel like I'm at yet another crossroads, only this time, I feel like I'm too old and it's too late to make such big, significant changes/leaps of faith.

I want to do more with this life - but how? And what?

5
spicykai February 9th, 2021

hii! my first tip is to be by yourself for a little while (unless you have a support system such as a friend or family). during that time, tell yourself that it isn’t too late to do more things in life and whatever happened in the past is now in the past and now it’s time to look forward from now on. (take as much time as you need) also during that time write down all the things you always wanted to do/things you want to do. that way once you found your true self you aren’t stuck in a hole and you know what to do :). (if you are going to take my advice pls make sure your list is doable)

redZebra6177 February 9th, 2021

@Amaranthic. I try to tell myself I still have half my working life left, and that if I have to develop another career path, it's not impossible. I also try to remember that today's economy doesn't provide as much security for people as it did for our parents' generation. So not having free time after work at night or on weekends because of having to go back to school again, or work odd hours, or do a part time job is not our fault. That doesn't mean we can necessarily handle doing the nights and weekends, but either way, it's not our fault.

cyanCoconut7492 February 16th, 2021

Don't give up! Your story is a little similar to mine, got out of an abusive marriage, relocated countries with my kids, started college, in a healthy relationship now, but I often feel father behind than everyone around me. It helps to list the things I'm thankful for when I'm in bed falling to sleep. Try it? Spend time on each thing really appreciating it and see how lucky you are to have it. Going forward will take a lot of patience to get through this storm and perseverance to work the hard climb out but you will find balance again if you keep moving forward. Write things down, get to know yourself very well. It'll narrow down the options ahead of you towards the path that makes you most happy and fulfilled.

bipolarcancersurvivor March 4th, 2021

Hi your early 30s story is so similar to mine and can relate so much to how you currently feel. I went through a severe period of wanting to get out of my current job and took on courses to see about doing that change but I recognized that I need to stick it out with my current mental condition and trying to do what I wanted as a side hobby but for now due to feelings of guilt and depression it is hard to do anything besides my regular work.

jayen009 May 22nd, 2021

Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 43 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??